The advice request..

Rae from Vermont writes:

Hi Sean,

I like your site! I am so happy for Theresa! I need some advice, and I am hoping you can help. I am looking for love but am embarrassed of my current situation, which usually leads me to end any relationship I begin. Let me explain..

I got married to a man I had dated almost 8 years. My friends didn’t like him but supported my decision, my family liked him only because they didn’t know everything that happened between us, and he managed, over the course of our dating, that I would never find someone that would treat me like he could.

He could be so violent when he got angry, but he would then apologize like crazy and I would end up taking the blame. After we got married it got worse. He kept accusing me of not trusting him, of keeping tabs in him, and even accused ME of cheating when I once caught him redhanded. Eventually, he started beating me.

I had eventually had enough and was emptying our house of my things while he was at work, when he came home and let me have it. It was the most severe beating I have ever experienced. He ran away and was eventually caught, convicted, and put in prison.

I had trusted this man and been deceived so many times. I kept thinking he’d changed, but eventually found out that people like that don’t ever change, they just find new ways to lie.

Everything was in our name when we were married and I found out that he’d annihilated my credit during the short time we were married. He also left me with Herpes.

I am so embarrassed to explain to people that I have it, let alone the circumstances that led to me getting it. I go on dates and when it leads to us getting intimate, I freak out and usually ruin things. I don’t know what to do.


Rae, I have a few co-contributors that will help me answer this question in the next post.