Odds and Ends

I get strange emails from time to time. I don’t usually answer the odd ones, but I’ll continue to group them together and answer them in bulk.

Here we go:


Do you feel coffee can have an effect on one’s libido?

Well, yeah, I love coffee. It makes me tingly. Honestly? No.

Why don’t condom makers combine the spermacidal lubricant, the shared pleasure, the ribbed, and the warming sensation kinds into one condom?

Because your penis would explode from awesomeness.

You talk about fitness alot. What do you feel about performance enhancing drugs?

I think they make people into neckless douchebags with temper issues. I will never be the guy at the gym in a spandex jumper, hissing while I lift three times by bodyweight and at the same time trying not crap myself.


Where are you from originally? I think I know you.

I was born in Iowa, grew up in ND and SD, and now reside in the wonderful state of MN. You know me? I’ve come a long way, huh?

I’ve been wondering how to effectively have a conversation with women. Not on a date, but more so at the bar. I don’t ever seem to be effective.

If by effective, you mean laying on cheesy lines thicker than Britney Spears eyeliner in the hopes you’ll wake up in her apartment, then you’ll never be effective. You just need to be yourself. Make polite chit chat, be conversational. LISTEN TO HER. Don’t talk sports unless you’re actually AT a sporting event (and even THEN, know when to stop), and for Pete’s sake, buy the woman a drink you cheapasses. If she doesn’t want one, that’s fine, but at least offer.

That’s it for now. I’ve got plenty more, but they’ll be saved for another time.

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Letting go 2

So I’d emailed back and forth with Stella and continued our conversation..

Stella wrote:

Well, yeah, I can’t see how you knew that, but that’s right on the head. That is the fear I am feeling. I don’t like hurting people and it seems that every time I am over him, and am just getting back in to a good healthy relationship, he shows up and I end up hurting someone that doesn’t deserve it. Do you really think that is why I am cancelling dates? That’s some amazing stuff.

I responded:
Letting go is a difficult thing, but letting go is made almost impossible when a destructive relationship keeps reoccurring. You need to free yourself of this person. Seek out some therapy and disappear from this person’s life. Also, don’t date for a bit. You need to stand on your own two feet for a little while before getting back out there. You’ll find yourself, your independence, and learn your strengths. The next person you end up in a relationship with will thank you for it.

Good luck.