The hot mess of child raising..

This is the product of parents that can’t discipline their children..

Cari wrote:

Sean

I need some advice. My husband and I have been married for just over a year and brought with us one child each into our marriage. My son Hopper is 6 and his son Chris is 9. The problem is that Chris is constantly bullying and beating on Hopper. I have tried to discipline Chris and to determine if it is Hopper that is antagonizing Chris, but the discipline doesn’t work and it appears that Hopper is just being randomly attacked. My husband and I are at a loss as to what to do. Suggestions?

Cari

You can’t figure out what to do? Be a parent. If Hopper is being randomly attacked and beaten up by Chris, as a parent, I’d end that in a heartbeat. My dad and mom had what I called “the look of death”..a look, that even from across the room made me almost wet my pants in fear. If I’d done something that provoked being given “the look”, I knew at that instant that I was going to get a spanking or be grounded when I got home. Parents today seem to afraid to be parents. They let kids throw temper tantrums, let them whine, let them just get whatever they want, and blame it all on a fear of being powerless. I am not advocating abusing your child, but I am all for a spanking (by hand..put that spoon down). I’ve given Olivia ONE spanking in her life, just one..but it let her know at that moment, that she’d crossed the line. Since then, she’s never thrown a tantrum, she doesn’t whine, and she knows when to do what she’s asked. She does this, because she knows the consequences of not listening, or whining, of throwing tantrums, etc. She knows that if she does any of these things, she’ll be in trouble. I don’t yell…that doesn’t solve anything. It’s much more effective to express your disappointment with what they’ve done. Every child wants to make their mom and dad happy. Think about it.

My advice to you is to discipline both of them. With Hopper, make sure he isn’t doing anything to provoke these attacks and teach him to respect people, even when they aren’t respectful to him…HOWEVER, teach him to also stand up for himself. With Chris, teach him to respect other people and to express his frustrations through conversation rather than by just blowing up. If he is indeed the one randomly attacking, you need to punish that behavior to the fullest extent and allow him to learn that family is family, and hurting family is not allowed.

This kid may have learned one of my techniques

I tormented the hell out of my sisters growing up. I swapped my crappy Halloween candy for their good ones, I chewed the feet off of their Barbies, and a number of other things. They had also done things to torment me as well..funny..I can’t remember them now..

Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that there will always be a little sibling conflict, but if it is consistent and random, as parents, you should be doing everything in your power to make sure that stops.

Bully in the making. This kid’s parents should sleep with one eye open..

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