Father hood

Robin wrote:

I have an unusual issue. I am a mixed race (half black, half white) woman who grew up being friends with more white kids than black kids. This infuriated my father who just may be the most urban and militant black man alive.

He and my mom divorced, and three years later my mom died of cancer. I was 18 at the time, and was living on my own, so I ended up growing further away from my father, due to the fact that my dating white men infuriated him.

He came to me two years ago and cried his heart out, saying how he’d made a mistake and how he needed to be more open minded, so I forgave him.

It wasn’t long before he went right back to his old ways and was throwing a fit whenever he found out I was with a new white boyfriend. He’d call me and threaten to take me out of the will, he’d threaten my boyfriends, and he most recently had a group of his friends rough up a guy I was dating.

It’s out of control and I don’t know what to do. Should I keep him in my life?


Robin, I commend you for letting your father back into your life, but if things keep escalating toward being more and more negative, I think it’s time to move on.

The fact that he isn’t willing to understand your life, coupled with what seems to be rampant racism, would be reason enough for me..however, the roughing up of the boyfriend is way over the line. Hopefully you’ve been able to smooth things over with him. Your father is a negative aspect in your life. Maybe it’s time to let go and just focus on the positive.