Caleb writes

Caleb wrote:

So this blog is awesome.  I just thought I’d write in and let you know.  I also am writing because I am looking for some of your oh-so-honest advice. 

I started dating “Marie” back in 2007 and we had a wonderful relationship, that endedin 2008 when she got a job in San Francisco and lad to leave.   She got yet another promotion and is back in the St. Paul office and we’ve been talking about going on another date and seeing where things go from there.  The problem is, I don’t want to be hurt again if she leaves.  I have a son from another woman and can’t leave MN, but if things go well for us again and we fall in love, then she leaves, I’ll be heartbroken…again.  I don’t want to go through that and now that my son is older, I don’t want him to go through that again either.

Caleb

Tough situation Caleb.  I’m a guy who has been in the same situation as well.  I’d never leave my daughter and that is often difficult for people I date to understand.  I don’t blame you for not wanting to leave your son, and I commend your decision to be an active father in his life.  Minnesota has enough douchebag deadbeat dads running the streets. 

I would recommend going on the date and seeing how things go, but if they start heading down the path of a relationship, I’d also recommend taking the time to talk with “Marie” about your needs and the needs of your son.  If she loves you, she’ll understand.  If she is more career focused, she may take a different route.  In either case, you were open and honest, and didn’t let yourself get into something that would leave you scarred again.  I wish you the best and I hope it works out.

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