Jaime wrote:

I have a problem with not wanting to be intimate in public.  I am not talking sex, but the basics of holding hands, kissing or what ever people usually do.  It just drives me crazy.  My last two girlfriends have actually broken up with me because of this.  Can’t an attractive guy find an attractive woman that also feels the same way?


Times have changed Jaime, but people haven’t.  Our methods of public displays of affection have come a long way, and I think there are two extremes.  You’re one, the guy who won’t even put his arm around his significant other (a NIP-“Not In Public”), then there is the type who’d gladly lick the neck of the woman he’s dating..even in church (a DIP-“Doin’ it In Public”).  Both seem to have troubles keeping a relationship.  There comes a point when showing affection is either too much or too little.  If you’re being straddled in a church pew, it’s probably too much.  If you are walking 5 feet away from the person you are with for three hours without so much as a hug or casual hand holding, it’s probably too little.  When you aren’t willing to show affection in public, you come off as the type of guy who is not ready for a’re just out with “this chick” but you’re always looking for something better.  It’s just lame.
The same goes with too much affection.  It makes the other person feel like they’re a walking blow up doll.  After awhile, the disillusionment sets in, and that person begins to feel uncomfortable.  It’s not pretty, it’s not sexy, and it’s not appropriate.

There is nothing un-manly about showing affection, and I don’t think anyone’s significant other would disagree with that.  I think it’s time you man-up and decide whether or not you’re ready for a relationship or you’re just looking for “right now”.  If it’s “right now”, be open and honest about what you’d want with anyone that you start something with.  Maybe you’ll find someone who is also a NIP..or a DIP…take your pick.  Just don’t let me catch you screwing at the Mall of America while I’m there with my daughter.  I’ll tear your balls off.