More like a beauty queen from a movie scene…

Jean wrote:

I have been dating a co-worker for three weeks and have encountered an issue that I feel deserves a second opinion.  I was seeing “John” for a few months when he suggested we make it official and start dating.  I agreed since I thought things were going so well.  I met his friends and he even met my parents.  It was wonderful. 

Then, about a week ago, I was mentioning dating “John” at work and a co-worker said he had been denying even seeing me.  I asked around and even more people said the same thing.  Why would he suggest dating me, then deny it to everyone?  I tried calling him to talk about it, but he never answers when I call.  He calls me back really late at night and wants to talk but I am always sleeping and never get his calls.

Jean

Jean,

I used the Michael Jackson lyric for the title of the lyric because I think Billie Jean fits here.  It’s about a guy who plays women and eventually gets mixed up with the wrong woman.

This guy is denying having any relationship with you because he is after one or several other people and wants his co-workers to view him as single.  Either that, or he is already in a relationship and is making you the other woman.  Asking you to “date” him just means he can keep you from doing the same thing.  You mentioned he has had issues answering his phone.  This to me says he is with someone else and is calling you back when they’ve either left, or are sleeping.  It’s bad news all around Jean. 

Cut ties, and get out of an increasingly bad situation.  Unfortunately, this type of guy pops up from time to time.  I call him the “popcorn guy”.  Have you ever gone to the movies with someone that wants their own snack but when they sit down they want to trade with whatever you have?  Then 5 minutes later, they want to trade back?  It pisses me off.  You may be nice and do it, but you end up getting left with just plain popcorn or a half melted box of Milk Duds.  Gross. That’s what a “popcorn guy” does with women.  He isn’t ever satisfied with just one thing and wants to always have the best of both worlds.  It doesn’t work that way.  Let him know that and get out on your own for a bit.

Sean

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