Bad profile pictures guys post.

I feel sorry for women everywhere after looking at some of the profiles I saw.  It was page after page of guy showing off his new bike/car, partying like crazy, giving a tough guy pose, flexing in front of the bathroom mirror, or bragging about how much money they have and how they want to find a woman to “take care of like a man.”  There is no amount of therapy that will ever burn this experience out of my head.  Here we go:

Flashers

Not the half naked guys in the mirrors..these guys want to flash everything they find valuable to them, whoring out material possessions in an attempt to buy the attention of a female.

How does this guy stay on his bike?  A strong breeze would send him t the next county..

None of this is mine, but I am damn good at pretending it is.

Serial Killers

The name says it all.  These guys have a habit of putting the CREEPIEST pictures into their profiles and are usually the ones known to email you 50 times in a 2 hour period.  They usually have some sort of fetish, so if you look like a teen, are exotic looking, or have tattoos, watch out.  Buy your own drinks, these guys usually come with a pocket full of roofies.

I can’t show you the rest of my picture because I couldn’t get the butter to wash off my nipples.

That lovely background picture isn’t distracting enough.  He still looks ready to drug someone.


Flexers

These guys are the second creepiest batch of guys on dating sites.  They feel so insecure about their appearance that they truly believe the way to make people notice them on a personal level is to show off whatever physical trait has gotten them compliments in the past.

This guy says he’s straight.  I’m not buying it.

Nothing says hot sex like jean shorts. Ted Nugent would be proud.

Bouncers

Bouncers get their name from the “gangsta” like poses they make, more often than not, bouncing up and down while someone tries to take a good pic of them that “makes them look hard.”  Look forward to nights of drinking cheap gin and mornings of getting slapped around if you date these guys.

..because all of us G’s button our Polos to the top..

I’m all about the Monopoly Benjamins.

Party Boys

“I can have a good time, I swear!”, is what these guys appear to be saying in their profile.  Drinking, darts, some Buck Hunter..it’s all good, as long as there is a copious amount of alcohol present.  Enjoy cleaning projectile vomit off of your car’s windshield and air vents.

This says, I am a drunk who believes in quality intoxication.

Want some half finished Gatorade?  How ’bout some TGI Friday’s Mudslide mix?

I’ll smile when I finish all of this alcohol.  Give me about two minutes.

Hunter Killers

Just like with the women profiles, these types exist within male profiles as well.  Ick.  These guys will wait 3 hours to kill a deer, but if they send you an email and you don’t respond within 2 hours, they’ll go apeshit and try to belittle you like crazy.

I’ll reel you in, then release ya!

“I punched this deer after killing it.  Gave him a little Jack Johnson and Tom O’Leary”

There you have it.  Women and men both have profile pictures that we wish we could forget (I personally wish I could forget jean short guy).  Just these posts in mind as you’re surfing around the dating world.

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