I think that emotions mature over time, but I don’t believe one can decide from the beginning how much of it should be dished out or withheld until the recipient has matured or become more deserving of the affection. I think what you feel for the person from the get go (whether you are dating or not) pretty much sets the stage for your future behavior (as in emotional vulnerability or steadfastness). I guess my point is, how does one turn emotions into a calculated effort? You either care strongly or you don’t.
As for intimacy versus/and emotions, I know many people will agree that as long as it feels right you should just do it. And the majority of people have no problem dissociating the two. I’ve always been of the view that physical intimacy should follow only if there is a significant amount of emotions already at play. I find it sad that the two are often separated. Perhaps, I am just old-fashioned!
I understand your first paragraph, but I should perhaps clarify what I meant with caring. I don’t think it is ever wise to jump in with both feet and just care strongly without fully knowing the person you are hoping to be with. I am not saying to calculate the amount of emotion you put forth either, but my side of the conversation was more along the idea of the stock market. Let’s say you buy one share of XYZ stock and the stock goes up. Do you then dump every cent you have into that stock and hope for even better things? What happens if the whole market for XYZ takes a dive? You’ve lost everything. If you do the same with relationships, it’s like moving from one heartbreak to another. That was my reasoning for my side of the conversation I talked about in yesterday’s post. More responses coming..