Temper trap

Brendan wrote:

Sean, I have an issue with a woman I am dating and I hope you can help me with things. My main issue is that I keep getting baited into arguments. It can be something as simple as picking ingredients for pizza that will make her flip out and start throwing accusations.  I am getting really tired of watching every word that I say just to avoid an argument, and I am also certainly tired from having to try to figure out what I did to deserve this.  What do I do?


I know it must be emotionally taxing to have to always walk on eggshells around someone you care about, but if you care about this woman, you may want to try to sit down with her and have a conversation to determine what exactly is bothering her. If it is a deeper issue, you can try to find a way through it. If its simply that she is no longer happy, then it may be time to say goodbye.

Sometimes pride gets in the way of communication.  Someone that is overly prideful can’t always admit when they need help (whether it be to handle stress, finances, personal problems, or whatever else they may have weighing on them), and instead of talking about their issues, they hold them inside because they feel “I can handle this”, or “This is my issue”.  Well it IS their issue, but only because they won’t let people in to help.

Again, try to find out what it is.  It make some careful planning in conversation, but you’ll figure out what to say if you put yourself in her shoes.  If it ends up being the other side of the coin (so to speak), then count your blessings and walk away.