Louis writes

Louis writes:

Sean, I am a long time reader and first time submitter. I am writing because I just read your “Walls” post and have something similar.  I have a history of being broken up with for being emotionless. I don’t think I am emotionless, but the last few women have said I act like it. I am just into taking my time when expressing how I feel about someone. How do you suggest I go about things in future relationships? The last breakup hurt and I don’t want to go through that again.



Sometimes when we think we are protecting ourselves from being hurt, or when we feel moving slowly is more comfortable, we forget to communicate that to the people we’re involved with.  Chances are, the women you are involving yourself with are looking for more romance and emotion that you are willing to give and they are becoming frustrated because it isn’t there by a time they are expecting it to be.  Have you tried communicating this up front, such as a simple heads up on the first date? 

Why do you feel moving that slowly is productive anyway?  Is there any reasoning behind why you are shielding your emotions?  You haven’t answered my emails, so I am asking you here.  Get back to me and I’ll have the rest of your advice.