Walls

Rdgirl112 wrote:

Sean,

I’ve been really hurt in my past two relationships and I find myself being overly cautious in my newer dating experiences.  I won’t even hug someone on the first date.  I believe I am just playing it safe by not jumping in too fast, but my friends feel it’s pushing away potentially good people by making me seem uninterested.  What’s your take?

Rdgirl112

Rdgirl112,

I agree with your friends.  It may be potentially pushing away good people.  I am not saying you should jump into bed with every guy you go on a date with, but if a hug feels right to end the date, go for it.  Show the person that you’re with that you enjoy their company and leave it open for a second date.  If you were hurt, you were hurt.  You may be hurt again, and if you’re hurt after being overly cautious, it may be much worse. 

Be genuine with getting to know someone and keep an open mind.  If they show signs they aren’t interested, back off and see where things go.  If they want a “part time lover”, to use some Stevie Wonder lyrics, make it known that you’re looking for more and move on.

Caution is a yellow light, not a red one.  Make sure you’re in the yellow.

Sean

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