StPauliGirl writes

StPauliGirl wrote to Sarah Q:

Hello Sarah Q,

First of all, your response to Sean was pretty rude considering you wrote to him for advice.

Secondly, he clearly understood what you were saying.  I was one of the people who wrote to Sean and told him that he was out of line with his response.  When I read your email the first time through I saw your side and agreed with the points I thought you were trying to make.  I thought you were only dating these guys and the word dating to me implies that the only commitment you have to them is for the next date.  When you move onto the title of boyfriend and girlfriend your commitment level has changed.

The bf/gf level is bigger than someone just being nosy.  The title means that someone cares about you and is thinking about you.  It shows that they care about your well being and want to make sure you’re okay.  If you don’t want someone to care and worry about you, why move past just dating?

You shouldn’t question why your boyfriend wants to know where you are, what you’re doing and if you’re okay.  This is his way of showing he cares.  You should question if your boyfriend doesn’t show any interest.  This is a huge warning sign that he’s cheating.  I’m guessing you know that though, since it does take a cheater to know a cheater.

Lastly, I have to eat my words and side with Sean.  You haven’t said you want to be in a committed relationship but to get to there you’re going to need to change.  Therapy may help…


Thanks for writing!