Disguises we all wear

Janelle writes:

I read your article about the woman who seems to attract the wrong types and I thought I’d write in to give my input.  I was a slutty dresser in my 20’s.  There was nothing I liked more than the attention I got when I went to the beach in the smallest top I and pair of shorts I could find.  Whenever I went out with my girls, it was the same way.  I wore outfits we all thought were “sexy” because at least a dozen guys would tell us we were “lookin’ sexy” every time we went out.  My boobs hung out, my dresses were way too tight, and my ass hung out.  It was pretty bad.  What changed me?  A Chris Rock special where he said something like, “you may not be a prostitute but you’re wearing the uniform..”

It was at that point that I realized I’d always attracted the wrong types because that was the bait I was putting out there.  As much as I looked for a good guy, I always got the same thing-the guy that started out sweet and was always buying me things, but then would either be abusive or would be a cheating a-hole and leave me heartbroken.  I realized that my dressing the way I did brought guys around that were shallow, materialistic, and only using me for sex. 

I gave it all up.  I don’t wear that crap anymore, I stay the hell away from clubs I know attract those kinds of people (let’s face it..most clubs do), and I have since found a wonderful man that I married and now have two children with.  He treats me like his equal and we have a fantastic relationship.

Maybe “Jane” should take a good hard look at what image she is projecting.  My guess is that she may be in the same situation I was.


Thanks for writing Janelle.  I am not a club guy either.  Not only do I hate that music, I hate the kind of people that clubs attract.  Sure, it’s fun for something different once in awhile, but I’m usually ready to get out of there after 20 minutes.  I think you were also dead on about the clothing too.  Our society is based SO much on first impressions that it doesn’t really matter what’s inside, if you’re putting out the wrong image, you’ll always get the wrong kind of attention.  Don’t be mad at those types when they approach you, be upset with yourself that you are dressing or acting the way you do.