Freedom in the fall

Katy wrote:

Sean,

I have a problem.  I have been dating a guy for three years and it’s not going well.  We’ve been on and off for two years and it just keeps getting worse every time we get back together.  I keep thinking I can be okay without him, but I always end up taking him back and we continue fighting and cheating.  It’s not fun, it’s not a good situation and I know I need to get out, but I just can’t bring myself to be alone.  Help!

Katy.
Katy,

I was talking to someone today and explained that sometimes, there is freedom in the “fall” of letting go.  It’s like one of those action movies where the hero is hanging from a cliff.  He can climb up to find the timebomb, or he can just let go and fall into the unknown.  Rather than face certain death, he lets go, and falls in slow motion.  An exhale sound plays and the hero falls away from the camera toward the ground, but at the last second, gets saved.  Sometimes to get saved, you have to let go and take that fall. 

Staying in a relationship that constantly makes you and the other person unhappy is not a productive relationship.  It may seem scary to picture the thought of being alone, but you have to let go of something like this in order to straighten yourself back out.  You mentioned cheating..are you?  Is he?  Are you both?  I am a firm believer if one time breakups.  I don’t like going back, I don’t like second chances, and I think that every effort should be put into not breaking up, versus breaking up and getting back together.  In my opinion, work on things to PREVENT the breakup, but if the breakup happens, let go and move on.  If you spend your time breaking up getting back together, respect is lost every single time until there is nothing left but a big mess.

Loosen your grip and let go.  Don’t go back.  You’ll be happier in the long run, I can promise this.  I know I am.

Sean

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