I’ve been dating a woman for about a year and a half and just recently found out her credit is ruined. She has about $70,000 in debt, with about half of that in collections. She feels the best way to escape debt is to just not pay. I tried talking to her about it because I can’t see spending my life with someone who has been so irresponsible, but she got really upset and said I should just take her as she is. I really care about her, but I am not going to get married and take on all of her debt if she has no intention of ever paying for it. What do I do?
Excessive debt can sometimes feel like the weight of the world is resting on the shoulders of the person that owes the money. However, running from debt is never a good thing. I would recommend talking to her again and explaining what kind of effect this discovery has had on your feelings of a future between you two. Don’t give ultimatums, just explain that it’s causing some issues. try to get her to understand that you value the relationship, but also that in a marriage, both people need to be responsible in every aspect. If she refuses to step up, maybe it’s time to step away.