Devil’s Advocate

I’ve got a friend who is very similar to me in our likes and dislikes.  We both share the same nerdiness in just about everything we do..however, she sees things in an interestingly different light.  I am allowing her to offer some advice viewpoints on some past posts because it’s nice to see other points of view.  Here we go:

On Glory Days, she wrote:

Why do you feel the need to convince Michelle to believe what you believe?  Why are you so certain what the best years of Michelle’s life are?  What she believes is not hurting you.  For all you know, Michelle could get married, have children..even grandchildren and still come to the realization that the party years of her life were the “best ever”.  While that may be sad, I think it’s best not to try to convince your friend what the best years of HER life are.  None of us have lived all of the years of our lives yet so who is to say which are the best?

Good point!  I totally missed the fact that Annie felt the need to try and influence what Michelle thought.  Opinion is opinion and should be left as such.

On Friend Zones Are Full Of Land Mines, she wrote:

This is a common issue in ‘platonic’ friendships. If something were to evolve, it likely would have by now. She’s probably not going to all of a sudden see you in a new light. However, if you want to know for sure, ask her or tell her how you feel. Be advised that this is a gamble and whenever you gamble you have to consider the possibility that you’ll lose. And because you say ‘I don’t want to be in the friend zone forever’ I ask you to please not tell her you’ll still be there as her friend even if she doesn’t feel the same because you’d be lying. Once you started having romantic feelings for her, you stopped being able to just be her friend. You’re going to keep hoping for more and that’s just torturing yourself. If she actually ends up feeling the same; congrats you two should have a great relationship! If not enjoy the awkwardness that ensues. There is still a hope for a continued friendship, if you’re truly okay with that. But you shouldn’t bring up your feelings again. Resist the urge to be extra sweet to her and secretly hope she’ll come around. Just be her friend….and if it becomes too difficult, then tell her you can’t do it anymore.  She should understand.

I agree.  Friends should always be able to be friends regardless of whatever else may happen.  If it turns into something more, great.  If it stays platonic, great.  If it develops into more and then fails..great.  If you can’t be a friend no matter what happens, you should question whether or not you were ever even really friends to begin with.

On Freedom in the Fall, she wrote:

There are few places as lonely as a bad relationship. Getting out of them is, admittedly, difficult. Ultimately you are in control of your own life. Thank you free will! If you know it’s bad and want to have a better life for yourself – get out and stay out. If you’re wishy washy and want to keep running back into this brick wall then don’t complain when you keep smacking your head and landing on your ass. I’m assuming there are no children involved, right? If that’s the case then it’s just the two of you  living in a crappy relationship and no one else is getting hurt. Good. If you’re satisfied on this dysfunctional merry-go-round.. enjoy. If not, then leave. Don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be.

p.s. Cheating is disgusting and classless.

I agree.  Cheating is disgusting and classless, and you have only yourself to blame for going back to a bad situation.  Get out and stay out.

So there is some extra advice from a friend of mine.  It’s sometimes good to get a second view on things and I think we accomplished that with the posts above.  More to come later today.

Sean

Advertisements