Finish lines.

Tony wrote:

Why do nice guys finish last?  I am a nice guy, so why do I always get the shaft when looking for a long term relationship?

Tony

Tony,

There are many theories as to why this phenomena happens, but I think it’s all just BS.  Nice guys don’t finish last, boring guys do.

Now, it’s true that some women aren’t ready for commitment and may have a TON of reasons as to why they feel the need to emotionally keep men at bay by showing physical intimacy rather than emotional intimacy..and in those cases, it’s easier to mistreat a “nice guy” who will take things calmly and be understanding when she dumps him, but it’s not always the case.

If you put yoruself out there as a giving, understanding, patient, quiet, and sweet guy WITHOUT telling the woman that you’re interested in her, you’ll be shoved directly into the friend zone.  She’ll basically end up feeling like you are someone she can talk to and confide in, but has no interest in being with.  You’ll be Duckie from Pretty in Pink. 

On the other hand, if you give and give and give when first dating a woman and don’t ever stand up for having your needs met, you’ll come off as the boring guy.  I am not saying to spice things up by starting a fight and throwing a bottle of wine across the room, but you need to show that you’re an equal in relationships or you’ll be walked on every time.

Adult women don’t like bad guys.  That’s a high school mentality that any woman in her right mind ends up outgrowing.  Women like strong, condifent, men that will treat them they way they feel they deserve to be treated.  I am not talking financials here..I mean emotionally.  Don’t be afraid to respectfully take a side on certain personal views, to communicate your needs, to state your needs, and to ask if theirs are being met.  Be honest and tell things like they are.  Don’t blow up or get angry about things, but don’t let people walk all over you.  Just show confidence and respect and the rest will take care of itself.

Sean

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