Minnesota Twins, Joe Mauer

Image by Doug Wallick via Flickr

So I was listening to KS95FM today and the morning show had a caller phonel in and state that she was fearful her boyfriend of 9 months may be gay.  Melissa, the morning show co-host then starts talking about this list she was sent by a friend that gives signs your “man is gay”.  The first one she picks to read?

“Does he have a gym membership but is not into sports?”

To answer the above question, yes I do and no I am not.. and that certainly doesn’t make me gay.  I play the occasional game of football or softball, I play paintball, soccer, and even tennis with my daughter, but I am not “into” sports.  I couldn’t give a rat’s ass if Farve comes back to play for the Vikings (though that’s about the only player I know these days..), I don’t know anyone but Mauer and the Morneau guy (from the McDonald’s commercials) on the Twins, and I don’t know how any sports team does throughout the season.  I even watch the Superbowl..for the commercials.  Why am I like this?  I find watching sports to be absolutely boring.  I can go TO an event and have a beer and hotdog, catch a cannon-fired-tee shirt, and enjoy the crowd festivities, but sitting at home or in a bar watching some game on TV is not enjoyable for me (unless there are people yelling at the TV screen..then I just make fun of them in my mind to pass time).

Does this make me gay?  I think if you were to poll the women I’ve dated, you’d get an overwhelming vote for “NOT gay”, despite my aversion to watching sports.  I don’t see how zoning out on a game and ignoring your girlfriend for two to three hours is an indicator that someone is or isn’t gay.  I prefer good company and conversation over inviting a bunch of people out to just sit and scream at a TV.

On a side note, I’ve noticed that as women mature out of their 20’s and into their 30’s, they develop a “sports gene”.  Development of this “sports gene” allows women to follow whatever sports info they pick up from Sportscenter every night and apply it to conversation the next morning in an attempt to bond with more men in their lives because somewhere along the line, that woman’s parents made a comment about their hope that she’d eventually meet more men and settle down so they can have a grandchild.  After dating a dozen or so douchebags, the woman goes home one night and flips on Sportscenter.  <BOOM>  Sports gene development is in progress and she has a new way to bond with men other than wearing her shirt “that makes her boobs look great” and her Booty Pop panties to the club.  What she DOESN’T realize, however, is that she is putting herself back into a pool of the same douchebags she was meeting at the bar, just under different circumstances.

I don’t like sports because I don’t like ignoring the woman I am with.  Does that make me gay?  No.  If I were gay, I would be ignoring the woman I was with to sit around with a bunch of guys, and yet that seems to be the norm.  Gay, straight or other, I don’t think it’s determined on superficial things like how someone dresses or whether or not they like sports.   Better yet, who cares what makes someone gay?  If they are, they just are, and that’s all there is to it.

One comment

  1. L · August 18, 2010

    Since this was a rant, I can understand that you may be exaggerating a bit or at least generalizing. I can totally see your point of view as to why this talk show personality (or her friend that sent the list for that matter) is a dingus. I don’t think I understand your generalization in the other direction. I dated a man for about 2 years and he was a sports fanatic. Together we watched tennis, baseball, basketball, football, soccer and even golf. I wasn’t entirely into it at first but after watching several games with him, I started to get into it. He never ignored me while these games were on nor was he a super macho toolbag. In fact, he usually made dinner for us while watching these games and always paused from the screen to kiss and hug me. I have encountered this with many men (note *men) and their wives and girlfriends. It was something we bonded over and were able to enjoy together. Do I still pay attention to sports as much as when we dated? No. I definitely don’t pay attention to the scores now to try to converse with a guy so he’ll hopefully fall for me (most women aren’t that pathetic…for real).I pay a little bit of attention to it for the same reason I pay attention to political debates and economic conditions… I like to know what’s going on around me. Truth is we live in a sports centered country. Your rant reminds me of a line from the great 80’s movie Pretty in Pink “If I hate him because he’s got money, that’s the exact same thing as them hating us because we don’t”. Not liking sports doesn’t make you gay and liking them doesn’t make you a douche. And this morning show chick’s friend sounds like a moron. Don’t be offended by things irrelevant morons say.

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