HS BS

Hall as Brian Johnson from 1985's The Breakfas...

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Sophie wrote:

I am a 16 year old with a problem.  So I have a group of friends that I hang out with at our high school.  Lately, this group of popular guys has been wanting to hang out with us, but the problem is, there is one more girl than there is guy-and she happens to be my best friend.  The guys all kind of picked who they were interested in and the girls just kind of went along with it, except my best friend, who acts like she doesn’t like any of these guys.

Anyway, the guys keep wanting to go places and do stuff and I always feel bad inviting my best friend because she is the odd woman out most times.  She’s stated that she feels like we don’t hang out much anymore and that also makes me feel bad.  I’d like the best of both situations, but my guy’s friends aren’t interested in her and she isn’t into them either.  They’ve even started asking that I don’t invite her places because she doesn’t fit in with the group dynamic.  How do I make her see that these guys are cool?

Sophie

Sophie,

High School BS.  I need you to keep that phrase in your head for the rest of your high school life.  The girl that thinks her world is ending because her uber hot boyfriend broke up with her?  High School BS.  The guy who thinks he is the coolest thing on earth?  High School BS.  Boyfriends asking you to give up a friendship because your friend doesn’t find his friends attractive?  High School BS.

I was going to recommend that you just try to spend time with them both equally, until I read your second to the last sentence where the group of guys started asking you to not bring your BFF because she doesn’t fit the group dynamic.  Whether that’s the “look” of the group or the “matching” of the group..it’s idiotic.  These guys that you and your friends are spending time with shouldn’t be asking you to not bring your best friend along when you hang out.  If you are being asked to choose, I’d say choose your friend.  It’s high school, and you’ll go through at least a half dozen more boyfriends before finding the right one, so it’s better to have your best friend to talk to down the road than a guy who your other friends think is cool because he’s popular.  These guys aren’t cool if they’re asking you to give up a friendship with your best friend.

You also stated that your best friend “acts” like she’s not interested.  How do you know it’s an act?  She may be legitimately uninterested.  Maybe she sees the “hi, I am popular..let’s hang out” guy as a total douche and has decided that she’d rather date guys that have some sort of intellectual offering rather than social status.

High School BS.  HS BS.  It’s not fun, it’s not glamorous, but in high school everything seems like such a big deal.  In the long run it’s not.  As you get older, you’ll realize that true friendship matters..popularity doesn’t.  Try to see things from your friend’s perspective and spend some time with her.  The right guy will come along later.

Sean

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