Don’t mess around with Gym

Emma wrote:

My boyfriend and I have been arguing more and more lately because he spends too much time at the gym.  He doesn’t NEED to be there, he’s in retail management not bodybuilding, but he feels the need to go twice a day and 4 days a week.  The problem is that he and I both have set work schedules and two of his gym days are on my days off.  He’s gone for 2 hours in the AM and 2 in the PM and I feel it really cuts into our time together and he says it’s not fair to ask him to cut back because he “is motivated”.  What is your take?

Emma

Emma,

Compromise is important in a relationship.  You don’t seem to be making an unreasonable request and yet, he seems to feel that you’re asking too much of him.  Would you agree that he is being self-centered here?  It would certainly appear that way.

Don’t get me wrong, I am fully supportive of fitness and exercise, but I think there is a give and take that also has to happen in relationships.  Do you ever go with him?  I’d start there.  Go with him and get some exercise yourself, then maybe do breakfast or something outdoors after the gym.  After doing that for awhile, if you still feel the need for him to cut back, ask him to make the same commitment to you and cut back slightly on his workouts to spend more time with you.  Hopefully he sees the value in compromise.

Sean

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