Hey Buddy.

Angela,

I am 27 and have had a “FWB” for the last year.  He told me early on that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, so we just kept things casual but have been sexual for a year now.  Lately, he’s been wanting to go on dates and has been upset when I’ve made plans on nights he usually had free.

Should we have the talk again?  Does this mean he wants a relationship with me?  I am confused.  He told me he wanted to keep things casual, but it seems to be leaning the other way.

Angela

Angela,

Friends With Benefits (FWB’s) are never a good thing.  No matter how great the idea is, it always melts down somewhere.  It’s often the guy who decides they STILL don’t want a relationship, but they don’t want to lose the attention of the woman they’ve been FWB’s with.  Other times, someone develops serious feelings for the other person and complicates things beyond all control.  I hope you and all of the readers realize that doing the FWB thing is a bad idea.  It always is.  ALWAYS.

Have the talk again.  Either be in a relationship, see each other, or be friends.  Keep in mind that most guys don’t see the woman they do FWB things with as relationship material, so they just fulfill their needs and have no problem not fulfilling yours (emotionally or physically).  Don’t make a casual thing out of sex…it’s already casual enough. FWB mentality turns sex into the Walmart of intimacy.  It’s all over, it’s dirty, and many people go there but only a few like it.  Gross.

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