Down in a hole

Jan_2010-6075 - The one with the hole

Hey, I can see China from here...

Carly wrote:

Sean, I think I just got played.  I was dating this guy for four months and we ended up falling head over heels for each other.  We became intimate after three and a half months and things ended up getting weird the other night on the phone, he basically ended things in a confusing way.  He first asked me if I’d be mad if he asked for time to work on himself.  I said I wouldn’t be mad.  He THEN said he’d been having issues letting go of his ex and that he didn’t know if he could date someone right now.  He said he wanted me to wait for him, then 5 minutes later said I shouldn’t.  I was hurt and couldn’t figure out why he was being the way he was.  I got off of the phone and he’d already deleted me from his Facebook.  Was he just using me for sex? How can you tell someone you love them and two weeks later just change your mind?

Carly
Carly,

Chances are he may have been using you for sex..or he didn’t like the sex that happened..BUT if he was a slightly more decent guy than that (you didn’t give me much to go off of), it may just be that he’s got legitimate issues with getting over his ex and didn’t want to drag you into things.  It’s crappy, yes, but it happens.  People are sometimes in such a hurry to be with someone that they don’t take the time to fix themselves after a painful breakup.  It’s like trying to paint a hole in the wall.  If you don’t patch it, you’re just dumping paint into a hole in a wall.  He’s got some attachment issues that he’s feeling the need to fix.  He asked you to not wait, so don’t.  Fix yourself, then move on.

Sean

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