What do guys look for?

A treasured beauty secret of continental sophi...

Steph from AZ writes:

What do guys look for in a woman?  I am out of college and have just started dating, so I am curious to determine what qualities men find attractive.

Steph

Steph,

While I though this was NOT a cut and dry answer, I consulted several men’s magazines and they all seem to have said the same thing:

1. Don’t Rush-If he’s a good guy, don’t rush sex or relationships faster than he is prepared for.  Take things in stride and get to know him before jumping in.

2.  Be Independent-Don’t confuse independent with “I’ll spend time with you when I want to”.  Independence means you’re CAPABLE of spending time on your own..not ALWAYS WILLING to spend time on your own.  It’s especially cool to have a night or an afternoon free to hang out with your respective groups then come home to the one that loves you.

3.  Appreciate-Show him you appreciate the things he does for you and that you appreciate him for who he is.  Don’t try to change him.

4.  Have a Mind of Your Own-You don’t need to have EVERYTHING in common.  It’s perfectly normal to have differences and it all leads back up to appreciation.  Appreciate those little differences that make you each unique.  Don’t be afraid to disagree.

5.  Be Cheerful-Negative Nancy types get old, fast.  Have hopes and dreams and work for them.  Don’t complain endlessly.

6.  Share His Interests-Just as he should share your interests, take notice of things he likes to do, music he likes, places he likes to eat.  If anything, it’ll inspire great gift ideas for holidays or birthdays.

7.  Have Self Respect-Dressing like the prostitute on your corner may get you laid, but it’ll also get you chlamydia.  Just be comfortable with what you wear and dress for the occasion.  You don’t need to tell him the intricate details of past loves either.  If it comes up, just be general.

8.  Communicate-Talk and talk regularly.  Let him know you’re thinking of his needs and ask that he thinks of yours.  Respect and communication go hand in hand.

9.  Be Expressive-You don’t need to be like everyone else and to stand out, you just need someone to see that.  Be yourself in everything you do.  Don’t be afraid to express how you care about him.

I was more or less taking these all into account and applying it to a personal level, but I can see where this is all essential.  It’s pretty basic stuff. Then again, guys aren’t complicated individuals..we’re just so simplistic that we SEEM complicated.  Get all of the basics down and the rest will take care of itself.

Sean

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