Guys like you.

Amy wrote:

I have sabotaged the last great relationship I think I’ll ever have and cheated on him with a guy that is, by all definition of the word, a loser. You’re a good guy, are there more guys like you out there?  Why do I always pick the deadbeat, abusive, addicted, party hungry, unfaithful, lying, no-good type of guy and ruin things with the good ones?  Is it fate that I end up unhappy?

Amy
Amy,

Fate is simply a way for people to give responsibility in dealing with their life.  Fate doesn’t exist and I think you will benefit from following that rule.  People that often find themselves in destructive relationships or choosing the type of guy (or girl) you described above are often times the victim of some sort of childhood trauma.  You weren’t the cause of it, you were the victim of it and as a result, it changed you. You now may find yourself attracted to the men you described above because you feel you can find some sort of redemption by fixing things or by being the hero, but in the end, you get emotionally connected and end up getting hurt when things don’t work out that way.  You simply don’t see “good relationships” as exciting..but for future reference, a lack of drama means things are going in the RIGHT direction.  Talk to a therapist and see what you can do to change what you’re looking for.

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