Holy lord..

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Annie wrote:

I’ve been sleeping with this guy, let’s call him John.  We met at a club through a friend of mine and hit it off.  We’ve been sleeping together for about 6 months but don’t have a relationship because I don’t believe in labels.    We’ve done more than just sleep together though.  We spend time together, go out, and just ahve fun with our friends, but recently I went for a girls weekend and ended up sleeping with an ex of mine.  I told John and he was concerned, but wasn’t upset because we weren’t dating because I don’t like that label stuff.

He is a really cool guy and we click, but both of us have a history of being “promiscuous” and we both know about it.  Because his list is bigger than mine, I usually make him put in the most effort into spending time with me because I want to make sure he’s the one who is interested.  I already know he’s interested in me.

I don’t usually want a relationship because I don’t like answering to anyone, and I don’t divest emotional stuff either.  For some reason though, I don’t want John seeing anyone else, but I don’t want a relationship, but I don’t want to end things with him.  I am a mess really, I guess I don’t know how to do a relationship.  Am I in one?  Does he like me?  Should I put in the effort?

Annie

Holy Lord Annie, I tried to fix your broken sentences, spelling, and slang the best I could so I hope I got your message across correctly.  From the looks of what you wrote me, you like a guy but aren’t used to being serious with anyone.  My first message to you is STOP SLEEPING AROUND.  It’s how diseases are spread.

My second tip for you is if you like him, tell  him.  Find out what he wants to do about it.  Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t.  You’ll never see a rainbow if you walk through life with your eyes closed.  There is no harm in telling someone how you feel and if it doesn’t work, there is no harm in having tried it.

You aren’t in a relationship until both sides agree that is the situation, so you need to talk with him.  If he’s making effort (by the way-you need to make some effort here too regardless of his list), he likes you..how much he likes you remains to be seen.  I think it’s time you grew up and had an adult conversation with this guy.

Sean

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