Time is on my side..

Little girl playing--doing laundry

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Sarai wrote:

Sean,

I liked your post about priorities and dating yesterday because I am facing the same dilemma.  After being unsuccessful with dating for 5 years now (as well as being a single mother), I finally found the right man, but I’ve struggled to find the balance with laundry, talking to friends, and seeing family.

He and I have dated for 6 and a half months now and it seems like things stack up.  I spend time with him and my son and my laundry goes crazy.  We spend a weekend together and my mom calls and wonders why I didn’t come visit over the weekend.  My friends are a bit more understanding because they realize that as we all get older, relationships take more priority than spending every weekend with the girls, but I am even finding it hard to call them because of differing schedules.  The gym was the only easy part.  He joined mine, so we saved money and can work out together.

How do I prioritize these things exactly?  You mentioned it yesterday, but I’d like more detail.  I love this man more than anything, I can’t see myself with anyone else, and yet, I want everything else to be in harmony too.

Sarai

Sarai,

To prioritize, you must first see the ultimate importance of each issue.  Let’s look at laundry for example.  Does it need your constant attention?  No, you can just put it into the washer or dryer and get other things done, then make a small amount of time to put it away.  What about doing that on nights you are relaxing in front of the TV or before heading to the gym?  You could even call your friends and chat while putting it away. Now, let’s look at your family.  If they want you to visit, make time for them, but bring your boyfriend and son and spend time together if you like, or go over for Sunday dinner if the boyfriend isn’t part of the full family picture yet.  Call your friends when you can.  Try calling while in the car on the way home from work, or on the way to the gym, or while relaxing at home.  I am sure a few calls to your friends isn’t something that takes away serious time from your boyfriend.  He shouldn’t mind.

To prioritize, you need to figure out what matters most.  If it’s your son and boyfriend, then it’s just a matter of fitting everything else around that life.  It may seem cluttered, but if you organize your life and make the most of your time, you’ll be fine.  Keep plugging away..it’s all a puzzle and you just need to make the pieces fit.

Sean

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