Coloring by the book.

Anti-racist rally in Sydney 2005 Dec 18
No racists here.

Alec wrote:

Hey man,

I read the posts about the age stuff when dating but what if you parents don’t approve of someone you date because of race?  I met a wonderful woman and brought her home to my family..they are white, she is African.  My family wasn’t rude to her, but was awfully cold and unwelcoming.  When I asked my mom the next day, she said, “I thought she was white.  Aren’t there white girls you can date there?”

I never pictured my parents as racist, but it seems as though they are.  How do I explain that I really like this girl, and to me, color doesn’t matter.




It’s amazing to me how many people will say “I’m not racist” when they actually have many racial preferences tucked away.  They only have friends of their race, they only date people of their race, and god forbid if someone of another race moves in next door..they’ll act as if the whole world is going to hell.  Racist, by definition, is believing that one’s race is naturally superior (or better) than another..strictly based on genetics.  Whether or not you’re speaking out on your views or not, if you are judging other people based upon race, you’re racist.

That seems to be the problem with life in America.  We all seem to have forgotten where we came from and, most importantly, where we are.  America is a melting pot of races, religions, and cultures, and it grows more mixed every day.  Children when I grew up (in North and South Dakota) were predominantly white or Native American.  We had one Asian guy in my class, three Hispanic kids (by junior high), and only a handful of black kids in my entire school.

Now, my daughter goes to school with people of every possible race and I appreciate it.  I was sheltered in my upbringing and your parents were even more sheltered.  They grew up in a time where segregation was the norm..where being different was mainly the color of your skin or where you came from.  They may be just remembering what they were taught while growing up, but it’s time they get an update.   I am happy you’ve found someone you’re happy with and I am sure my readers would agree.  Your parents are definitely in the wrong here and need to wake up.

I would explain to them that their approach to you dating outside of your race is giving you a negative image of them. If you feel they are being closed minded and racist, explain it, and explain why you feel that way.  Show them that their views are now the minority viewpoint and it’s shrinking every day.  They need to grow and learn about, then accept other races and cultures.  Maybe they’ll listen to their son.  If they don’t, then maybe it’s time you keep what makes you happy and just wait for them to realize they’re missing out on a great thing.