Christians

Faith1 wrote:

Sean,

I read the article about the Catholic girl and I decided to write you because I have an issue dealing with religion.  I was raise by strict Lutherans and as I have grown up, I’ve lost all interest in organized religion.  It seems to me that Christianity (and a few other religions) are all virtually the same story, with the same message, all telling me how to life my life by stating what’s accepted and not accepted.  Why not teach of understanding, peace, learning, and how your actions affect other people?  Anywho, that’s another letter.

My problem is, that I am terrified my parents will find out I’ve stepped away from the church and they’ll freak out. What do I do?

Faith1

 

Faith1,

How is your relationship with your parents?  Are you close?  Are they understanding or are they rooted in the worn fundamentals of their past?

Religion, spirituality, faith, or however you phrase it is a tricky thing.  There are hundreds of religions out there and there are even people who believe in nothing.  To me, religion isn’t anything you need to make others believe, how you vote, or how you treat other people.  Religion is how you feel about something greater than yourself.  If you are still searching for something greater, then that’s your journey.  If you’ve found what you’ve been searching for, then be happy with what you have.  It’s all a personal experience.  Religion all goes wrong when we force it on other people.

If you’re close with your family and it comes up in conversation, explain to them that your beliefs have changed, then explain what those beliefs are.  If you’re firm in those beliefs, take some time to explain that as well but if you’re still searching for what you want, then explain that too.  When arguing with a strict follower of any religion, it’s always good to have some text (about understanding) from their religion to make an easy transition.

It won’t be totally easy, and it may take some time for your parents to overcome their apprehension to you stepping out of their comfort zone, but it’s a part of life, and they need to understand that you’re free to make your own decisions.

Sean

Advertisements

Skyscrapers and bungalows

My first skyscraper!
Image by swisscan via Flickr

Tallgirl1 wrote:

Sean,

I am in love with a wonderful man and he is in love with me.  The problem lies with my friends (and his, to some extent), you see, I am 4 inches taller than he is and my friends and a few of his take every shot they can at making us feel self conscious about this.  At first it didn’t bother either one of us (I’m not a stuck up bitch who rules out shorter guys as some sort of weird psychological inadequacy), but now the teasing is making me feel that it may not be socially acceptable.  He is also feeling the heat.  His guy friends keep ribbing him and it’s making him feel self-conscious.

What do we do?  How do we tell our friends that they are the problem, not us?

Tallgirl1

 

I know plenty of women that are not willing to date anyone shorter than they are.  It’s not some deep psychological thing, it’s simply the fact that they want a man taller than they are.  I also know women like you that don’t really give a rat’s ass how tall the guy they date is, they look at the person, not the prominence.  Nothing wrong with that either way.

Anyway, the solution to the problem is a simple one.  You both need to find the courage to stand up to your friends and put an end to the teasing.  If it’s gone on for as long as you make it out to be, then it’s time to tell them to stop..the joke has run it’s course.  If they don’t cease, maybe it’s time to find some friends that can be truly happy for your loving relationship.

Sean