I am a 29 year old male who is in love with a woman that’s in love with herself. We’ll call her Sandy. She is a really nice person and isn’t really mean to others, but she can’t seem to stop talking about herself. From what she says, she’s the greatest catch on Earth. She has perfect looks, perfect body, perfect everything. Sandy got into an argument with her friend Alice the other day then came to me and talked about how mad she was because Alice isn’t as good looking as she and how Alice should feel lucky to be seen with her.
It’s a bit much. She is always complimenting herself and saying how she’s got everything a guy needs. I’d reached the end of my rope the other day and we got into an argument. She said things like, “If you’re fed up, you can go. I can have plenty of guys knocking at my door by tomorrow.” and “I’m not mad that you’re bothered by this. If I were you, I’d be jealous too.”
I know I haven’t done a good job making her seem like a nice person, but she really is. She just has this one flaw. How do I either change her ways or learn to live with it?
Your girlfriend, or whatever she is to you, seems to be a bit vain. You see her as normal and she sees herself as a star. You’re just waiting for the star to fall..but stars don’t fall, they just burnout. Do you remember that “Ultra Hotty” in your high school? Every guy knows what I am talking about. She didn’t even know you were in 90% of her classes, but she managed to occupy most of your mental spank bank for years. Here’s where she may be at: Unless she has managed to mature and move past being centered on how she looks compared to everyone else, chances are she is now burned out and MAY in fact be “doing Brett Michaels” on his tour bus at this very moment just so she has something to talk about.
Looks aren’t everything and 90% of people do not care how you look on a daily basis. Most of us realize this as we begin to age, but some people are so concerned with maintaining the attention level they got in high school and college that it becomes an obsession of sorts. Ladies, if you’re spending more than 100$ a month on cosmetics, it’s an obsession. I’m not saying it’s wrong, but don’t expect everyone to live by those standards. Most of us move on and realize there are things more important than looking perfect. Look at history, once we stopped focusing on our own planet, we realized there was an entire universe full of them.
You can wait if you like, but unless something drastic happens in her life, it seems like she’s addicted to playing the “star” role. She likes it. If her attitude bothers you, tell her again, but your only other option after that is to excuse yourself from the situation. Maybe if you leave and she gets a taste of life without you, she’ll see that the world isn’t revolving around her.