I’ve had better..

Liar Liar
I've had better.

DEGuy wrote:

I am in the doghouse.  I started dating this girl “Jane” a few weeks ago and last night we made things official and had sex for the first time.  She’s Liberian and this will come into play in just a bit.  When it was all done, she asked me how it was because “Liberian girls do it better than the rest.”  I said it was great, but also explained I didn’t see why it was different than the rest.  I mean, come on, it’s a vagina.  Women have them and they’re all in relatively the same spot.  Nothing new or groundbreaking there.

Needless to say, she was upset by my honesty and said that if I didn’t think it was anything special, she wouldn’t have sex with me ever again..then she left.  I DID think it was special, but not because she was Liberian, but because it was her.  She just didn’t give me a chance to say anything.

How do I fix this?  Should I have not been honest?




For God’s sake, lie next time.

No, I am kidding.  I’ve dated all types too and it’s amazing that almost every different ethnicity or race thinks they are better at intimacy than others.  They’re not.

Sorry to send the world crashing down upon your sexual egos.  DEGuy is right, it’s a vagina and unless you’ve got one on your elbow, it’s nothing new.

That’s not to say that sex or intimacy isn’t better with certain people versus others.  It’s a personal skill and also depends on the connection you have with the person you’re being intimate with.  There isn’t a sexually superior race or ethnicity, there’s just a bunch of misdirected conceptions that make it seem that way.  Guys are really simple..intimacy and sex feel good and we like to feel good.  Sometimes guys say things that make women want to be intimate or sexual and the women hear that enough and start to believe it.  Have you ever asked a guy if your ass looked big?  He said “no”, right?  It’s because he eventually wants more intimacy and whether or not your ass WAS indeed planetary in size, is beside the point.  He’s protecting his investment..your confidence.  Confidence means you feel good.  You feel good and you’ll eventually want intimacy.  You feel bad and intimacy gets thrown in the fire for the night.  Your ass could look spectacular, but if you ask the question, either way you’ll almost always get a positive answer.  I prefer honesty though, so if it looks like it’s should have a few orbiting moons, I’d find a nice way to say it.

Now back to DEGuy:
How do you fix this?  You try to get through to her that it was special because it was her and not her ethnicity.  SHE made it special for you because you felt a connection to her…not all of Liberia.  Apologize for being so blunt, and assure her that you’re interested in a future with her (if you are).

Good luck.




Challenge responses

Anonymous wrote:

I gave 6 bags of clothing to a local homeless shelter.  It’s not all mine though.  My boyfriend left me a month ago and didn’t come back for his clothes.  There will be some people with some damn expensive clothing walking around downtown Atlanta soon!  Merry Christmas!


PLO90 wrote:

I have been donating my time at a women’s shelter for the past 5 years.  Every Christmas and Thanksgiving I am there.


Fred wrote:

I donate to my Salvation Army.  I give change every time I walk by one, so I’d say it’s about $100 a year.


DND Wrote:

I bought a homeless man lunch yesterday and had lunch with him.  Interesting life he’s had.


Karin wrote:

I donated a car..does that count?  I think it should.


Alec wrote:

I worked with my church to send food to Africa.


Anonymous (different one) wrote:

I gave $1000 to my local homeless shelter.  I have done it yearly for the past three years.


WOW!  Thanks guys!  It’s good to see so many people giving back.  Keep the responses coming!



Traditional envelope containing money as a gif...
My gifts aren't this nicely wrapped.

I’ll post a few of the “A challenge” emails later today, but first, I have another question for you:  Who do you give a gift to (besides family and friends) during the holiday season?

The reason I ask is because I heard a discussion on a local morning show about tipping teachers.  Most people were supportive of it, but others said it was ridiculous because giving a gift to someone for doing their job is setting a dangerous precedent..if you gifted a teacher, you’d need to gift a mail man, a doctor, a barber or stylist, and even the guy at Home Depot who helped you load your car.

I can see that argument.  I don’t give gifts to my doctor.  Hell, he probably makes twice what I make in a year and he spends 15-20 minutes with me maybe two times per year.  He can’t even remember my name.  No gift needed.  I don’t gift my mail person or my garbage guys and I cut my own hair (I am picky) so no gifts there either.  But a teacher?  I say yes, to giving a gift to a teacher.  My child sees them daily and develops a bond with them.  A good teacher is like a second family because of the support and guidance they give their students.

I had a boss once who was like family to me.  Jeff was his name, and he is, to this day, the best boss I’ve ever had.  He knew when to push me, he knew how to guide me, and he cared enough to make sure I understood things the entire way.  When my daughter was born, I used to take her into work sometimes and he’d just light up.  It was awesome.  HE was awesome.  He got a gift every year because he was like family.  Bosses since then haven’t really gotten gifts from me because they have quite a challenge to top Jeff.

Who do you give back to?