I am in the doghouse. I started dating this girl “Jane” a few weeks ago and last night we made things official and had sex for the first time. She’s Liberian and this will come into play in just a bit. When it was all done, she asked me how it was because “Liberian girls do it better than the rest.” I said it was great, but also explained I didn’t see why it was different than the rest. I mean, come on, it’s a vagina. Women have them and they’re all in relatively the same spot. Nothing new or groundbreaking there.
Needless to say, she was upset by my honesty and said that if I didn’t think it was anything special, she wouldn’t have sex with me ever again..then she left. I DID think it was special, but not because she was Liberian, but because it was her. She just didn’t give me a chance to say anything.
How do I fix this? Should I have not been honest?
For God’s sake, lie next time.
No, I am kidding. I’ve dated all types too and it’s amazing that almost every different ethnicity or race thinks they are better at intimacy than others. They’re not.
Sorry to send the world crashing down upon your sexual egos. DEGuy is right, it’s a vagina and unless you’ve got one on your elbow, it’s nothing new.
That’s not to say that sex or intimacy isn’t better with certain people versus others. It’s a personal skill and also depends on the connection you have with the person you’re being intimate with. There isn’t a sexually superior race or ethnicity, there’s just a bunch of misdirected conceptions that make it seem that way. Guys are really simple..intimacy and sex feel good and we like to feel good. Sometimes guys say things that make women want to be intimate or sexual and the women hear that enough and start to believe it. Have you ever asked a guy if your ass looked big? He said “no”, right? It’s because he eventually wants more intimacy and whether or not your ass WAS indeed planetary in size, is beside the point. He’s protecting his investment..your confidence. Confidence means you feel good. You feel good and you’ll eventually want intimacy. You feel bad and intimacy gets thrown in the fire for the night. Your ass could look spectacular, but if you ask the question, either way you’ll almost always get a positive answer. I prefer honesty though, so if it looks like it’s should have a few orbiting moons, I’d find a nice way to say it.
Now back to DEGuy:
How do you fix this? You try to get through to her that it was special because it was her and not her ethnicity. SHE made it special for you because you felt a connection to her…not all of Liberia. Apologize for being so blunt, and assure her that you’re interested in a future with her (if you are).