Sean, Is it me or are there more and more women seemingly falling in and out of love? I have lots of female friends that seem to be in love and then heartbroken every 90 days or so. It’s like they meet someone, fall head over heels in love, then hit some sort of brick wall and leave the person (or he leaves them)…then they start all over instantly. What gives?
I’ve noticed the same thing too. Just browsing through my Facebook page, I can count at least 15 friends that have this habit. One month, it’s gushing about how great the guy is and how much they love him, then the next month it’s talking about moving on. After that, there’s like a week of posted party pictures and obscure posts about how frustrated they are, then all of a sudden, they’re in love with someone new. I just don’t have the heart to break it to them that it seems they have no real idea what love really is.
I don’t know what love really is either, but I know what it’s not:
1. It’s not the fun, exciting beginning to a relationship. That’s just the excitement of something new. If that were love, I loved the hell out of a Transformers toy I got in 3rd grade.
2. It’s not staying with someone that treats you like crap, takes advantage of you, or makes you feel any less than equal. If that’s love, we’d all be depressed or dead…or Amy Winehouse.
3. It’s not based on money, sex, or looks. Your heart and brain don’t have eyes, a wallet or genitals. Don’t confuse love with sex.
4. It’s not something that can be turned on and off like a switch. If you can love/hate/love/hate someone, you don’t love them. People may get on your nerves and it’s okay to be upset but that shouldn’t mean you don’t love them anymore.
5. There is no love at first sight. Love grows because it is based upon trust, understanding, communication, and emotion.
Anonymous, I totally agree with you that more and more people are making a mockery out of love (it’s not just women though), and it’s really surprising to me how many of those people will do it over and over again like a fly banging against a window trying to get outside. My advice to your friends, my friends, and anyone else looking for love is to sit back and relax. Take things easy and get to know someone first. Understand who they really are, what they want from you, what they want in their future, and what they feel they offer to a relationship. Let your time pass with them and grow those emotions slowly. You may find yourself in a wonderful, loving relationship as a result. If it ends, at least you didn’t waste your time fooling yourself into thinking it was love from the start.