Dogs

Cougar / Puma / Mountain Lion / Panther (Puma ...

Keep this as a pet and you'll never see a pit bull in your area again.

America,

After careful deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that I am not a fan of dogs, nor will I ever be.  That is not to say that I have singled out any pet as being the absolute worst, but dogs are definitely not even in my top 5 favorites.  Let me give a brief explanation on my reasoning:

Dogs are needy.  Now, I know you dog owners with no kids would say that kids are needy too (perhaps even needier), and I’d agree, but kids offer a return on the investment.  If we invest our time and resources into turning them into responsible, well-educated adults, we can assure ourselves that we’ll eventually get some kickback for turning them from a eating/pooping machine into a responsible adult.  With dogs, we invest our time and resources in turning them from a eating/pooping machine of a puppy into an adult dog who craps outside and will still eat whatever they want.  No ROI there.

Dogs smell.  Holy Lord do they smell.  Even if washed with the greatest “cherries jubilee” stink removing shampoo, you are guaranteed to have a dog that smells like ball sweat a day or two after the shampoo job.  Don’t even get me started on the breath.

Dogs can be dangerous.  Here’s where the dog owners say there are “no dangerous dogs, only owners that don’t raise them well”, or “that banning certain breeds is a burden on law officials”.    I call BS on both of those.  For the first one, it’s like saying parents make all adults who they are (so the f-ed up kid who has great parents still can blame his parents).  Wrong…it’s influence, and in this case it’s hundreds or thousands of years of breeding for a purpose.  You can’t just turn that around in a decade.  For the second one, it’s like arguing that laws are ineffective because some people will break them and it’s a burden for law officials to punish them.  If there is a historical evidence of danger, it should be regulated to the fullest extent to be made safe.  It’s the same reason we can’t keep mountain lions, bears, or things of that nature as pets in a city.  Some animals just aren’t safe pets.

Dogs shed.  I know cats do too..hell, I’ve even dated women that shed more than a dog, but it’s just one more thing to deal with when dressing up.  If you go through three or more of those lint rollers a month, you know exactly what I’m talking about. There is also nothing worse than getting into a car and having dog hair blow around the inside of the car like snow in a snow globe.

Anyway, this is just a friendly rant.  If I am friends with you and you have a dog, take no offense to this, as it is just my personal preference to not be a dog fan.  That also DOESN’T mean I don’t like YOUR dog, it just means I’ll never own one myself.  Just don’t let him eat anything of mine..or poop in my shoes while I sleep.

 

 

 

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