Hot breath..

But we never love objects.
Not this body might wake up to a sleep humper.

Lena wrote:


I have a “thing” maybe you can help me with.  I’ve just started dating this guy and letting him sleep over at my place from time to time, but what I found is that he is a clinger when we sleep.  He holds me in a death grip of sorts and doesn’t let me move around.  All I feel all night is him practically suctioned on to me and his hot breath on my neck.  It’s pretty gross.  He’s not clingy outside of sleep, but when he falls asleep, watch out.  How do I stop this?




I like to call these people “sleep leeches” or “ass magnets”  because they latch on to you all night long and it practically takes lighting a fart to get them to back off.  By the way, don’t try lighting a fart with that person suctioned onto you, kids.  Anyway, I usually deal with it by offering to hold them, then letting them drift off to sleep, kissing them on the forehead, and rolling them off to the far side.  (I learned the kiss and roll technique from “Friends”), or just flat out telling them I need space.  One or the other usually works well.  If this is a subconscious thing and they repeatedly violate your sleepy time by latching on, offer them a body pillow to wrestle with while you sleep safely on the other side.  If THAT doesn’t work..try tranquilizers or an electric fence because you have a big problem on your hands.