All Greeks owe me a new pair of pants.

I love Greek style yogurt.  Not only is it creamier and richer in protein, lower in sodium and easier to digest, but it’s also (in most cases) considerably lower in sugar.  The creamy aspect is what I find most desirable about it though.  The traditional runny or pasty Dannon or Yoplait yogurts have never really cut it for me and I always found that I’d have to thicken it up by adding two fistfuls of Grape Nuts to the mix to actually enjoy it. However, Greek yogurt used to be spendy, so I’d often settle for the cheaper version.

Things took a dramatic turn in 2009 though, when Greek yogurt came down from 3-4$ a container to under $2 a container (it’s about a dollar to $1.50 now).  I started buying up Greek yogurt like it was the last gold deposit in America (thinking the price was a fluke), but soon realized the savings was permanent.  I’ve been eating it weekly ever since then.

Trader Joe’s yogurts are by far my favorites, with Chobani in a strong second, Greek Gods/Oikos/and Liberte’s Mediteranee in a three-way third place.  Dannon and Yoplait’s entry into the Greek style yogurt is laughable, but the one that really upsets me is Greek Yogurt by Fage.  I hate this brand for three reasons:

1.  They package their fruit separately from the yogurt.  First, Fage’s stuff can barely be called’s more like jam packed into it’s own container.  Why?  Because Fage obviously wants you to have a challenge using a regular size spoon to scoop jam out of a pocket half of the spoon’s size.  Maybe this is to burn calories..or maybe this is revenge for making their yogurt cheaper to compete.

2.  The yogurt holder in the package is this weird half-cup thing.  Not only do you have the spoon challenge, you then have to mix the jam with the yogurt in the half sized container.  This is like taking a full swimming pool and cannonballing into it.  Your jam filled spoon plunges into that yogurt to mix and it’s all over the place.  I feel I should be wearing a raincoat when mixing.  The rim is covered, you’ll get it on your hand, your pants, and even your ear (it happened and I don’t know how).  The package clearly says do not stir, but who doesn’t want the fruity goodness MIXED with their yogurt?  The half-cup thing also means you’ll have a good amount of untouchable yogurt in the corner.  You can’t mix it, let alone get at it with a normal spoon unless you’re a Jedi master.  You’re usually left with an ounce or two of wasted yogurt when “finished” with this product.  Also, after two pairs of my jeans had conveniently placed “crotch yogurt stains”, I decided to stick to the other brands.

3.  The flavor sucks.  The jam..oooohhhh, the jam.  They have a million flavors, but each flavor tastes like a sugary flavored version of that flavor’s supposed taste with no identifiable fruit pieces in the goo.  The yogurt is also more bitter and less flavorful than other Greek yogurts on it’s own, so I’d advise not choking it down without mixing it.  You’re now in a damned-if-you-do/damned-if-you-don’t scenario that will eventually wishing you picked a different brand.

In conclusion, there are many great Greek Yogurts out there, but in my opinion, Fage’s yogurts aren’t one of them.


Match points

Image representing Match as depicted in CrunchBase
"Hi. I am a blue man looking for a green girl. Oh, works."

Allan wrote:


I tried Match after seeing you promote it, but I haven’t had much luck.  I recently took my profile down because I couldn’t get any responses.  My pics seemed fine (these were some headshots I’d had done by a friend), I was as descriptive as I could be about my interests and about myself (I sent you the copy of my profile text), and I just don’t see what the problem could be.  I’d like to think Match could work for me, can you help?




The biggest hangup with dating sites is that most people are looking for someone that has got things in order.  I notice three big issues with your profile text:

1)  In your profile you don’t really state where you want to be in life (you only state you’re happy with where you’re at).  Women want to know that the guy they’re with not only has things in order now (stable job, education, finances, etc), but they also want to know that the guy they choose has ambition and won’t just be lazy.  Ambition means the desire for self-improvement which means you’ll do well in a relationship where self-improvement is a must have.

2)  You also state that you love going drinking with the guys on weekends and work on your car.  No offense here, but that’s not really a strong trio of  “must have” traits for women looking for a relationship.  The thought of you spending all day in the garage then coming home drunk to them after they’ve spent a Saturday night alone watching Weeds reruns isn’t the most appealing idea to a woman.  What else do you do besides drink and party, and work on cars? (I hope that there is more to it than that).  You also stated you just started going to the gym.  Quite frankly, you need more of it to get into any sort of shape other than round.  It looks as if partying caught up with you.  If you’re looking to date, you don’t want to be the guy that’s “good enough for now”, you want to be a catch to keep.  Get into shape and stay that way.  Maybe put off the drinking and partying a bit and get your life in order before dating?

3)  You said your friend took these pictures?  Eesh.  By the way, these aren’t headshots.  The first one you sent where you’re laying on a couch (or floor?) is way too much of a close up.  Did you just get done eating chips?  They’re all over your shirt.  Delete that pic.  The second one where you’re all grubby and drunk isn’t a pic anyone should see (and your stomach hanging out from under your shirt won’t get you any positive attention either).  And the third , is so far back (your upper half is also behind the hood of your car from this angle) that it could really be any guy and no one’s car is worth showing in any profile.

You need some work.  Get into shape, get your life in order, find some goals, and THEN try dating.  If you try dating before then, chances are you’ll end up disappointed more often than you’ll end up happy.  When you start the dating process after things are in order, try using more positive and descriptive words about who you really are, what you want from life, what you enjoy doing, and who exactly you’re looking for.  You’ll have better luck then.