All Greeks owe me a new pair of pants.

I love Greek style yogurt.  Not only is it creamier and richer in protein, lower in sodium and easier to digest, but it’s also (in most cases) considerably lower in sugar.  The creamy aspect is what I find most desirable about it though.  The traditional runny or pasty Dannon or Yoplait yogurts have never really cut it for me and I always found that I’d have to thicken it up by adding two fistfuls of Grape Nuts to the mix to actually enjoy it. However, Greek yogurt used to be spendy, so I’d often settle for the cheaper version.

Things took a dramatic turn in 2009 though, when Greek yogurt came down from 3-4$ a container to under $2 a container (it’s about a dollar to $1.50 now).  I started buying up Greek yogurt like it was the last gold deposit in America (thinking the price was a fluke), but soon realized the savings was permanent.  I’ve been eating it weekly ever since then.

Trader Joe’s yogurts are by far my favorites, with Chobani in a strong second, Greek Gods/Oikos/and Liberte’s Mediteranee in a three-way third place.  Dannon and Yoplait’s entry into the Greek style yogurt is laughable, but the one that really upsets me is Greek Yogurt by Fage.  I hate this brand for three reasons:

1.  They package their fruit separately from the yogurt.  First, Fage’s stuff can barely be called fruit..it’s more like jam packed into it’s own container.  Why?  Because Fage obviously wants you to have a challenge using a regular size spoon to scoop jam out of a pocket half of the spoon’s size.  Maybe this is to burn calories..or maybe this is revenge for making their yogurt cheaper to compete.

2.  The yogurt holder in the package is this weird half-cup thing.  Not only do you have the spoon challenge, you then have to mix the jam with the yogurt in the half sized container.  This is like taking a full swimming pool and cannonballing into it.  Your jam filled spoon plunges into that yogurt to mix and it’s all over the place.  I feel I should be wearing a raincoat when mixing.  The rim is covered, you’ll get it on your hand, your pants, and even your ear (it happened and I don’t know how).  The package clearly says do not stir, but who doesn’t want the fruity goodness MIXED with their yogurt?  The half-cup thing also means you’ll have a good amount of untouchable yogurt in the corner.  You can’t mix it, let alone get at it with a normal spoon unless you’re a Jedi master.  You’re usually left with an ounce or two of wasted yogurt when “finished” with this product.  Also, after two pairs of my jeans had conveniently placed “crotch yogurt stains”, I decided to stick to the other brands.

3.  The flavor sucks.  The jam..oooohhhh, the jam.  They have a million flavors, but each flavor tastes like a sugary flavored version of that flavor’s supposed taste with no identifiable fruit pieces in the goo.  The yogurt is also more bitter and less flavorful than other Greek yogurts on it’s own, so I’d advise not choking it down without mixing it.  You’re now in a damned-if-you-do/damned-if-you-don’t scenario that will eventually wishing you picked a different brand.

In conclusion, there are many great Greek Yogurts out there, but in my opinion, Fage’s yogurts aren’t one of them.

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