Match points

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"Hi. I am a blue man looking for a green girl. Oh, wow..it works."

Allan wrote:

Sean,

I tried Match after seeing you promote it, but I haven’t had much luck.  I recently took my profile down because I couldn’t get any responses.  My pics seemed fine (these were some headshots I’d had done by a friend), I was as descriptive as I could be about my interests and about myself (I sent you the copy of my profile text), and I just don’t see what the problem could be.  I’d like to think Match could work for me, can you help?

Allan

 

Allan

The biggest hangup with dating sites is that most people are looking for someone that has got things in order.  I notice three big issues with your profile text:

1)  In your profile you don’t really state where you want to be in life (you only state you’re happy with where you’re at).  Women want to know that the guy they’re with not only has things in order now (stable job, education, finances, etc), but they also want to know that the guy they choose has ambition and won’t just be lazy.  Ambition means the desire for self-improvement which means you’ll do well in a relationship where self-improvement is a must have.

2)  You also state that you love going drinking with the guys on weekends and work on your car.  No offense here, but that’s not really a strong trio of  “must have” traits for women looking for a relationship.  The thought of you spending all day in the garage then coming home drunk to them after they’ve spent a Saturday night alone watching Weeds reruns isn’t the most appealing idea to a woman.  What else do you do besides drink and party, and work on cars? (I hope that there is more to it than that).  You also stated you just started going to the gym.  Quite frankly, you need more of it to get into any sort of shape other than round.  It looks as if partying caught up with you.  If you’re looking to date, you don’t want to be the guy that’s “good enough for now”, you want to be a catch to keep.  Get into shape and stay that way.  Maybe put off the drinking and partying a bit and get your life in order before dating?

3)  You said your friend took these pictures?  Eesh.  By the way, these aren’t headshots.  The first one you sent where you’re laying on a couch (or floor?) is way too much of a close up.  Did you just get done eating chips?  They’re all over your shirt.  Delete that pic.  The second one where you’re all grubby and drunk isn’t a pic anyone should see (and your stomach hanging out from under your shirt won’t get you any positive attention either).  And the third , is so far back (your upper half is also behind the hood of your car from this angle) that it could really be any guy and no one’s car is worth showing in any profile.

You need some work.  Get into shape, get your life in order, find some goals, and THEN try dating.  If you try dating before then, chances are you’ll end up disappointed more often than you’ll end up happy.  When you start the dating process after things are in order, try using more positive and descriptive words about who you really are, what you want from life, what you enjoy doing, and who exactly you’re looking for.  You’ll have better luck then.

 

Sean

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