Game, or lack thereof.

World of Warcraft Pirate NPC

This guy needs much more than armor.

Anonymous wrote:

Sean,

I am a 22 year old guy who has been told that I lack “game”.  Now, I am only 22, and don’t even really know what “game” entails, but I’d imagine that it’s a way with women-and if that is what it is, then yes, I lack it.  I a socially awkward guy who can’t even find ways to talk to women.  If they try talking to me, I blush and freeze.  The only time I had a chance to even be intimate with one, I was shaking so badly, it weirded her out.

How do I find my game?

Anonymous

 

Anonymous,

First of all, I hate the phrase “having game”, because it implies that relationships or interactions between two people are a game (I disagree with that).  I think what you lack is confidence..specifically self-confidence.  Confidence, whether we’re talking about an over-abundance or lack of it, can be a make it or break it factor when dealing with attraction.  With an over-abundance of confidence, you’ll end up looking like douchebag.  If you lack confidence, you look like a socially retarded buffoon (or worse yet..a creeper).

Self-confidence isn’t being cocky or proud, it’s just being okay enough to trust yourself for what you have to offer.  My guess is that you have some skill, personality trait, or characteristic about you that you believe in.  It could be sports related, it could be knowledge related, or it could be your “mad Warcraft skills”, but in any case..it’s yours.

Let’s your skill IS your “mad Warcraft skills”:  A rule in any weapon related fight is that you’re always tougher with armor.  When you’re dealing with someone you’re attracted to, imagine yourself “in armor”…you’re tougher, stronger, and just a little bit more badass.  Now, don’t go out WEARING armor to the next night club you hit up (that’d be the creeper thing I talked about earlier), but rather just imagine yourself armored.  The worst thing that can happen when talking to a woman is that she could say she isn’t interested in you.  No harm, no foul, just go on your way.  Just remember, there is nothing wrong with making connections and networking when you’re out on the town.  Nothing is more pathetic than a guy who goes around the bar hitting on every woman in sight.  Just talk, relax, and have fun.  If and when it DOES come to intimacy, violent quivering can be a definite turnoff, so having a drink may be a good option (if you’re of age), and some conversation beforehand can be a calming technique as well.  Just remember, you’re both people.  She isn’t “spectacular” for wanting some sort of intimacy with you, and you’re not “special” for wanting to be intimate with her.  Spectacular comes during the intimacy, and for that, you’ll need to educate yourself.  Personally, I’d recommend reading up on it.  Having some background knowledge can do wonders for your confidence in that area, trust me.

Now, put on your invisible armor, get out there, and make some connections.

Sean

 

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