I always seem to have major ups and downs when dating. I meet someone and things are perfect and within a few months we’ve had our first argument (usually about our expectations of dating and relationships) and are on the outs. Then, a short time later, we break up. Am I doing something wrong?
I emailed you back looking for more answers here, but haven’t gotten a response yet, so I’ll just say this:
If your “big fight” is about relationship or dating expectations, you’re doing something wrong. When entering into a relationship, both people should be discussing what a relationship means to each of them, as well as discuss what their wants and needs in a relationship. Sure, there will be things that pop up along the way, but if both people have good idea as to what they want from a partner, it should be discussed up front. My guess is that you’re getting swept away and waking up next to that person after the second or third date and just assuming you’re dating..then, when you realize you’re not “automatically a couple”, a fight breaks out.
If it seems lame or boring to discuss wants and needs in a relationship BEFORE you start dating, you’re probably not ready for a relationship. It’s much like a 9 year old trying to drive: If you can’t reach the pedals, you probably shouldn’t try driving. The same goes with relationships: If you don’t know what you want and what you expect (and you can’t be okay discussing them), you probably shouldn’t be dating. You’re a car crash waiting to happen.