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Matt wrote:



I have recently started dating someone after taking a few years off to work on myself.  I really like this girl, but she has one huge flaw:  she is always going on vacation.  In the four months I’ve gotten to know her, she’s been on three vacations.  When I asked her why she feels the need to get away, she says her every day life is so mundane that she needs an escape.  I am a part of her every day life and hearing her say that made me think she’s not ready for a relationship if she feels the need to escape all of the time.  I’m 30, she’s 31 and I think it’s a little old to be doing monthly’s a little too “early college” for me.  What do you think?




I think you’re totally right, she isn’t ready for a relationship.  There’s nothing wrong with going on a vacation, but if you feel a need to constantly escape everyday life, you’ve got some issues.  Everyday life is reality and it can be a little routine and boring sometimes, but if you can’t find enough beauty in reality, it’ll only create more issues.  Personally, I think vacations should be once or twice a year (if it can be afforded) to allow for some time to pass to make that next vacation a nice treat.  If you’re always on vacation, the luster is lost and it is simply escaping.  She needs to ask herself what it is that makes her feel like escaping all of the time.  Personally, if you’re taking issue with this now, I’d talk to her and explain how you feel.  If she isn’t willing to deal with reality, maybe it’s time you move on to someone who can be an adult and deal with everyday life in a constructive manner.