Life in MN part 3…

 

Someone called police to complain that a man was burning a dead cat on a grill at a trailer park complex in the 7400 block of West Circle. Officers spoke with the man and were told it was a cremation ceremony.

I hold weekly cremation ceremonies for cows in summer at my house.

A Savage woman reported the theft of her daughter’s clarinet from Hidden Valley Elementary School, 13875 Glendale Road.

This one time…at band camp…

A woman called police to report that someone had put chocolate syrup, sardines and other items on her daughter’s vehicle that was parked in the driveway of their home on the 12000 block of Xebec Street NE. There was no apparent damage.

…other than the chocolate stains and fish smell?

A St. Bonifacius woman called police to report a scam. She said someone had called her and claimed to be her grandson. The caller said he was in the Dominican Republic and needed money for legal expenses. The woman wired him $4,758. She later discovered that her grandson was not involved.

Wouldn’t you recognize your grandson’s voice?

A vehicle was damaged in a collision with a horse near the intersection of Aberdeen Avenue and W. 240th Street.

There’s that damn horse!

A live 50 mm shell was found in the 27300 block of Texas Avenue.

I don’t want to see what he’s hunting.

Police responded to a report of a turkey with an injured leg running along the road on 60th Street near the Applewood Hills Golf Course. The injured bird was dispatched.

On a similar note, the annual Applewood Turkey Fry and Tee Off has been moved to tomorrow...

Police checked an alarm that was set off at Walgreen’s, 985 Geneva Av. The alarm had detected motion in the electrical room of the building. A balloon was found in the room near the motion sensor. The alarm was reset and the building secured.

The balloon was then popped and arrested for entering and breaking.

A 22-year-old Minneapolis man was arrested in Burnsville for soliciting and engaging in prostitution.

I think of this (old SNL stuff):

A window of a customer’s vehicle was smashed at Roz’s Auto Body, 1451 Concord St. N. Another smaller window behind the driver’s door window was removed and stolen.

So someone broke a window to steal a window?

 

A wallet was found in the dumpster at Dairy Queen, 1443 Concord St. S. It contained a driver’s license and other cards. Police have been unsuccessful at contacting the owner.

Offer him a free Blizzard.

 

A cell phone was stolen from AT&T, 1980 Robert Street S.

Don’t worry, they’ll probably bring it back when they notice it keeps dropping their calls.

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Baritone Betty

TYT77 wrote:

Sean,

I’m a big fan of your blog.  I read it whenever I can.  I am also hoping you can help me with something that’s bugging me.  I have recently started dating a girl that (when I met her for the first time) I realized has a really low voice.  I know it’s a girl (not a man or former man..unless she’s lying) because she said she gets teased about her voice alot.  Now I am not saying she sounds like Barry White or anything, but it is low.  I keep remembering the scene from Coming to America where Eddie Murphy is in a bar and finds the woman with the low voice.  It doesn’t bother me, but I worry about what my friends or family would think about it.  What do I do?

TYT77

 

TYT77.

Is this the scene you’re talking about?  The one where Arsenio Hall plays the woman?

I’d say you do nothing.  If it doesn’t bother you, who cares what anyone else thinks?  I know people with birthmarks, port wine stains, and other things that often times put too much effort into caring what other people think about them.  It simply doesn’t matter.  If she’s a good person and you enjoy being with her, it doesn’t make one bit of difference what people think about her voice.  Sure, you two may have phone call confusion at times, but that will more likely be the biggest issue you two face.  Just sit back and enjoy your new relationship…stop worrying about everyone else.

Sean