Life in MN part 3…

 

Someone called police to complain that a man was burning a dead cat on a grill at a trailer park complex in the 7400 block of West Circle. Officers spoke with the man and were told it was a cremation ceremony.

I hold weekly cremation ceremonies for cows in summer at my house.

A Savage woman reported the theft of her daughter’s clarinet from Hidden Valley Elementary School, 13875 Glendale Road.

This one time…at band camp…

A woman called police to report that someone had put chocolate syrup, sardines and other items on her daughter’s vehicle that was parked in the driveway of their home on the 12000 block of Xebec Street NE. There was no apparent damage.

…other than the chocolate stains and fish smell?

A St. Bonifacius woman called police to report a scam. She said someone had called her and claimed to be her grandson. The caller said he was in the Dominican Republic and needed money for legal expenses. The woman wired him $4,758. She later discovered that her grandson was not involved.

Wouldn’t you recognize your grandson’s voice?

A vehicle was damaged in a collision with a horse near the intersection of Aberdeen Avenue and W. 240th Street.

There’s that damn horse!

A live 50 mm shell was found in the 27300 block of Texas Avenue.

I don’t want to see what he’s hunting.

Police responded to a report of a turkey with an injured leg running along the road on 60th Street near the Applewood Hills Golf Course. The injured bird was dispatched.

On a similar note, the annual Applewood Turkey Fry and Tee Off has been moved to tomorrow...

Police checked an alarm that was set off at Walgreen’s, 985 Geneva Av. The alarm had detected motion in the electrical room of the building. A balloon was found in the room near the motion sensor. The alarm was reset and the building secured.

The balloon was then popped and arrested for entering and breaking.

A 22-year-old Minneapolis man was arrested in Burnsville for soliciting and engaging in prostitution.

I think of this (old SNL stuff):

A window of a customer’s vehicle was smashed at Roz’s Auto Body, 1451 Concord St. N. Another smaller window behind the driver’s door window was removed and stolen.

So someone broke a window to steal a window?

 

A wallet was found in the dumpster at Dairy Queen, 1443 Concord St. S. It contained a driver’s license and other cards. Police have been unsuccessful at contacting the owner.

Offer him a free Blizzard.

 

A cell phone was stolen from AT&T, 1980 Robert Street S.

Don’t worry, they’ll probably bring it back when they notice it keeps dropping their calls.

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