I received an email from a woman who asked that I not post here exact email or name but instead write a more narrative response to her dilemma. She is somehow trapped in the world of online dating and can’t seem to find someone to settle down with, yet doesn’t feel comfortable looking outside of the online dating world for her guy.
There weren’t any more specific details (other than her statement of having a timeline in which she wanted to be married and have kids) but she asked for my help, and I intend to try to help. Here we go…
There are so many women that put the “wrong thing” in their dating profiles. By putting the wrong wording into your profile, you will either attract the wrong person, repel the good people, or do both. In a dating profile, you should be confident with who you are and what you have to offer, know what you are looking for (and be specific about it), and most of all..have a positive outlook on relationships and love. Here are a few common mistakes people write:
1) “No more games”- You may as well write “I am naive and easily fooled.. “. If someone screwed you over, nothing good will come from broadcasting that to everyone as a first impression. This statement is also written as “no more bs” or “tired of the lies”.
2) “..looking for a good hearted man.. ” (also written as “looking for honest and caring man.woman”)- This is like saying, “I would ideally like to find a warm body..”. It is really basic, vague, and it’s something pretty much every female dater wants. Is there someone that would say, “looking for assholes only”?
3) “One last try”- Adding this to your profile is like saying “I have failed so much I am about to give up on dating…”. No potential mate wants to hear something like this and the only people you will attract are people looking to use you.
4) “Don’t know why I am doing this..” or “Not sure I am ready for this..”. This tells anyone potentially interested that you are insecure of your decisions, so why would they risk dating you?
5) “Tell people we met at a______ (place other than online) “. I’ve said it before, this one is starting the whole relationship off with a lie. Do you really want that?
6) “Not looking for anything serious.. “. So you want nothing serious but you (meaning most of the people that say this) are on a dating site and usually saying in their profile that they are looking for a relationship. News flash: relationships ARE serious. If you’re looking for a booty call or one night stand try your exes or the local bar… stay off of online dating sites.
7) “420 Friendly”. Really? You’re putting THAT out there? Lame. Any 20-30 year old that has this in their profile is most likely going to be an immature, materialistic, and fake little brat full of self-tanner and attitude.
8) “Must love God” (or anything along those lines). This may come as a surprise, but there are some people in this world that are religious but not as a first priority. There are also others that choose not to be religious…but they may act like it if they think you’re hot. Religion is best saved for the more personal conversations. If you’re “overly-religious”, you may want to consider sticking to a religious themed dating site because the regular ones are going to be somewhat of a shocker for you.
9) “Grown ass woman/man”. I’d find a better, more intelligent way of stating you’re a mature person who has their priorities in line…because with the “grown ass” statement, you don’t appear to be.
10) “Save me from heartache”. So you’ve been hurt and your first response was to go online and date again? Looks like an emotional train wreck waiting to happen. Take time off from dating and get your life in order. Someone else licking your wounds will always lead to…infection.
There we go…the most commonly written profile mistakes. Learn from them and just be yourself. Write honestly, openly, and be genuine.