Clothing hoarder

mouse

Samantha wrote:

HELP!  My roommate is a clothing hoarder.  I didn’t know this when I asked her to move in with me, but now that I know, it’s a huge problem. What do I mean by clothing hoarder?? She shops at least once a week and has plies of clothes (I can’t tell what’s clean or dirty) all over her room.  She took my flat iron the other day and I had to root around in there looking for almost a half hour.  It was disgusting and it’s making her room smell like dirty clothes which is also leaking the smell into the hallway by my room.  It’s gross.  How do I tell her it’s not cool to be so messy without pissing her off?

Samantha
Samantha,

First off, she may have a problem.  No one should need to shop weekly for clothes without getting rid of clothes at the same rate.  Secondly, you need to just confront her and let her know that her mess isn’t cutting it with you.  It’s your place, and regardless of what she’s paying for rent, your rules are your rules.

Do you know what things love piles of clothing?  Mice..mice and bugs.  I lived in the basement of my family’s house while growing up in South Dakota and I couldn’t leave clothes on the floor because there were moments of terror (I hate to relive them) early on involving bugs in my shorts, shoes, and bath towels.  I’ve seen friends get mice in their clothing piles…it’s not pretty.  Maybe you should share THAT bit of info with her the next time the mess comes up.

In the end, you need to just communicate your needs and ask her to respect them.  You have to be willing to respect a LITTLE disorder, but nothing beyond whatever guidelines you’ve set out for roommates.  If that doesn’t work, flex your landlord muscle and boot her.  I agree that huge messes are a dealbreaker.

Sean

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Proscinati..oh, I’ll finish later.

A Day Off Work

Not even close to the snow depth we had here..but a good illustrator.

BV213 wrote:

Sean,

I’ve been out of high school for 6 years now and I want to go to college to finish my degree.  I know I’ll need a degree in business to do what I want to eventually do in life, and yet, I can’t make myself  complete the enrollment process.  How do I get up enough motivation to do this?  I want to finish school but the idea of more homework and more work seems to be my biggest hangup.  I work a M-F job right now and I like having my nights and weekends free to go have fun, yet I know I need to grow up.

BV213

BV213,

There is no room for procrastination if you want to get anywhere in life.  It is always going to be easier to put things off rather than buckle down and accomplish the goals you set for yourself, but you need to realize that life isn’t about you.  Life is about where you fit in along with everyone else.  Maybe you haven’t found your niche..or maybe your lack of a degree is keeping you from finding that niche, but putting things off isn’t helping things one bit.  It’s easy to go through life on cruise control, but it’s not always going to be so easy.  As you get older, it will become harder and harder to maintain your carefree ways.  A short time later, you’ll find yourself at a dead end with all of your friends having moved on with life after accomplishing their goals and setting new ones.

I’ll use an example from my life.  I had asked my roommate Andy to shovel the deck after a large snowfall this winter.  He said he’d do it that night.  Instead of grabbing the shovel when he came home, he went downstairs for the night.  The next day, I asked him again and he apologized, then said he had something going on that night, but he’d get to it when he came home.  It didn’t get done.  Later that night (and most of the day the next day) more snow…HEAVIER snow came, which made the drift covering the deck almost 5 feet high.  Andy came home that evening and grabbed a shovel, but instead of a 30 minute shovel job, he had over an hour of shovel work to do.  When he was done, Andy was sore, cold, wet, and miserable.  The lesson from this story is to get your goals done ASAP or you’ll eventually be facing a mountain of things to accomplish rather than just one or two things.

It’s great that you have time to see friends and hang out, but free time never takes priority over responsibility.  If you’re over the age of 21 (and it sounds like you are), responsibility says volumes about who you are.  Have you heard the saying , “my word is my bond”?  It means your word is only as strong as your personal integrity.  If you’re constantly making and breaking promises to anyone, including yourself, everyone else can see that, and it will eventually lead to them seeing that your word isn’t any good.  As they get older, they’ll want to keep friends around them that can deliver on promises they make (and deliver on time), and if you can’t do that, you’ll be left to the wind.  Make any excuse you like..if you aren’t delivering on your personal goals, no one really cares. They’ll simply move on without you.  You’re only letting yourself down by not completing your goals.

You set some goals for yourself and you know what you want to do.  It’s time to grow up and get things done.  No more excuses.