I was talking to this girl I met on Myspace who I found extremely attractive. After a few weeks, we decided to meet and to my surprise, she was not at all attractive. When I told her she looked nothing like her pics (I said it respectfully), she AGREED and said it’s because she photoshops all of her pics to take out imperfections. I politely ended the date because I felt lied to. She still emails me and asks for a second chance, but 1) I am not attracted to the real her, and 2) I feel deceived. Am I right in this or should I have been more understanding?
You still use Myspace? You two must be the only two left on earth that log in there besides whoever is controlling “Tom’s” profile.
The fact that you’re asking my advice tells me that you are either doubting your actions, or feeling guilty for what you did. I feel your frustration though Drew, and you’re not alone in your situation. One thing that I really hate is when women wear super padded bras. Not that boobs are the beat all, end all attraction point for me, but I’d rather know what I’m getting upfront than to discover a surprise later when that giant padded sling comes off to reveal mosquito bites. It’s those moments that make me feel lied to, deceived, and let down. It’s not because the boobs may be smaller than I imagined (again, I am not a boob guy), but it’s because it makes me feel that the woman felt she needed to hide something from me. The same thing goes for those people that Photoshop the hell out of their pictures (on Facebook or dating sites alike). I feel that if you can’t show people the “real you”, the “fake you” will just be a disappointment in the end. There will be a day when these people let their guard down and actually show the “real” version of themselves and many people will be put off by this. Again, it isn’t because they’re unattractive or anything, it’s because they’re essentially lying about who they really are.
Personally, I feel you were right in your actions…though, if you feel she deserves a second chance, give her one. Maybe she’ll turn out to be someone wonderful. Just ask her for honesty in anything you two do going forward.