R&B

Colby O'Donis in Thriving Ink

I’ve come to the conclusion that people that listen to R&B must have really low self-esteem.  This may be somewhat of a shocking statement to make, but let me explain:

Many of today’s R&B/Rhythmic Top 40 hits are full of cheesy one liners that would make any regular guy look like a total fool, and yet the listeners don’t seem to mind that their songs are full of stupid, one-liner, pick up attempts.  I seriously hope no one really falls for these things in real life.

Usher-DJ’s Got us Falling in Love– Usher obviously thinks that dancing with someone means you love them.  Read this cheesiness:

“No control of my body/Ain’t I seen you before?/I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes”

So Usher’s using the old high school pick up line, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”  Lame.

Mike Posner-Bow Chika Wow Wow-Michael here thinks that treating a girl like a porn star is a good way to make a first impression.  Read on:

“Are you tryna make me wait wait wait ’til the second date/But I cant cant cant even contemplate/Waiting one more minute lemme jump in it/I brought chu flowers and a teddy”

Are you kidding me?  You brought a girl flowers and a teddy on the first date?  Way to go big guy.  Maybe she’ll let you “get her pregnant” and you’ll live happily ever after.

Black Eyed Peas-Imma Be-Apparently, money and sex are all Will I Am thinks about.  Read this:

“Imma be a brother, but my name ain’t Lehman/Imma be ya bank, I be loaning out semen”

So…you’re saying you want your Semen back eventually?

Sean Paul-Temperature-This Sean (who gives all Seans a bad rep), seems to think mumbling and stammering is a way to make a girl feel good.

“From you don’t want no man wey can’t turn you on gal make I see your hand them up on ya/Can’t tan pon it long…..naw eat no yam…no steam fish….nor no green banana/But down in Jamaica we give it to you hot like a sauna..”

Sounds like he’s trying to talk like he must text.

Colby O’Donis-What You Got-This guy is almost as big of a douchebag as Jason Derulo.  Read this:

“And I like the way you take advantage of every man you love/I see, and I know your game girl/But I don’t mind if ya come and play with us just don’t talk too much”

So he likes that you take advantage of people and wants to spend time with you but wishes you’d shut the hell up.

Flo Rida-Zoosk Girl-Flo chose the WORST dating site of all to reference in his song!!  Might as well have called it “Love @ AOL girl”.

“I got the girl that I need, but you’re the girl that I want, I want the girl that do everything, but I got the girl that don’t. So I can get you, you, and you girl, (Ahhh) Cause your on Zoosk girl”

So he has someone but wants to cheat with someone he met on Zoosk?  ZOOSK? I can’t express how lame this is.

I could go on and on, but the point I am trying to make is this:  R&B music today seems to be all about finding women with low self-esteem and saying whatever you can to have sex.  I don’t care if it’s catchy music, the lyrics are just plain dumb.

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