Hailey, It Happens-Aurora.

I love this band.  It’s been awhile since my last music review, but thankfully “Hailey It Happens” is here with their album “Aurora”.  Here is the title track.  Listen for the point in the song “I hated every single second of 23..”  it just blows me away.  Let me know if it doesn’t work.

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Life of the party (with kids)..

Took picture June 18, 2006 of a party hat I pu...

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Allisen wrote me a letter that actually managed to frustrate me beyond all belief.  In fact, it’s so frustrating, I’ve decided I’m not going to post it.  I’ll describe it instead.

Allisen wrote in and asked for advice finding a guy that could keep up with her and stated she’d had trouble finding a guy that could deal with her situation.  She didn’t say what her “situation” was, so I emailed her back.  It turns out that Allisen has a son that is almost two.  I still didn’t see what the “situation” was, so I emailed her back for more info and this is where things got ugly.

As she explained it, she is a “party girl” that “accidentally got pregnant” (did she trip and fall into a penis?) but doesn’t think that should keep her from going out.  She parties three to four nights a week and leaves her child at home with her parents while she goes out and drinks…3-4 nights a week.  She finds these “nice, family guys” to date and is shocked..SHOCKED to discover that they have a problem with her hard partying ways as a mother.

Allisen feels that since her child is still young, he won’t remember the years mommy wasn’t home at night and feels that she needs to get things out of her system so she doesn’t want to party into her 40’s.  Allisen stated she sees her son about two nights a week and the other remaining night, he’s at his father’s so she goes out…which means she actually party’s 4-5 nights a week.  I told Allisen what I thought of her mentality and we went back and forth.

Allisen is upset because a guy won’t stick with her and party with her, knowing full well she’s leaving a child at home.  Earth to Allisen..you’re a mother whether you like it or not.  It’s time you start acting like one.  Having trouble figuring that one out Allisen?  That means you should be spending more time at home with your son than you are spending drinking and partying.  It doesn’t matter if your son is sleeping or not, YOU need to be there for him.  I don’t know of any parents that go out as much as you do..and if I did, you can be rest assured, I’d tell them off as well. As a parent, you have less free time because your time is no longer YOUR time.  You need to spend that time raising and educating your son.  Kudos to your parents for stepping up and doing it for you, but don’t think they enjoy seeing you party your life away while your son sleeps in their house. I’d advise any of you partiers out there to make sure you’re not tripping and falling onto any penises too if you’d like to keep partying…and I would hope that any parent I know isn’t doing this very same thing (or anything close to it).

Kids

My humorous rendition of Nikki Grahame and her...

Suck it up Sally..

I had to run an errand over lunch today and ran to the mall for a few minutes.  As I came out of the store I’d stopped in, I saw a child throwing a fit.  He was crying, stomping his feet, and screaming things that I couldn’t understand (keep in mind he was about 3 or 4 so I SHOULD HAVE been able to understand him).

His mom ignored him at first, then came over and taunted him by saying “Is that it?  You’re just going to cry?  Mommy wants to leave..”, then she attempted to do the typical “I’m walking away and I want you to know it..” thing.  This pissed the boy off even more and he swiped his hand across a display table of shoes nearby, knocking everything to the floor.

The mom first stared at the boy but when store employees came to the front to pick up, she grabbed the boy’s arm and told the STORE people, “I’m sorry.  He does this sometimes.  You should see him at dinner!”  She tried to laugh it off and walk away as I just stood there…disgusted.

When are parents going to realize that it is NOT okay for your child to throw a tantrum..not in private, not in public?  Ignoring them doesn’t work, nor does just yelling at them or attempting to leave.  This is something you need to deal with at home the FIRST time it happens.

She’s done lesser things and been spanked twice, but Olivia has thrown only one tantrum with me.  When it happened, you’d swear the Earth opened under her feet.  I grabbed her arm, put her down on the bed, got three or four inches from her face (all the while giving her the “look of death” that parents automatically learn how to do), and told her that she was being inappropriate and that it was not OK to throw a tantrum.  I then followed up with putting her in timeout (she had to stand, alone, in the dark, in my bedroom by the dresser) for 3 minutes.  I informed her she was not allowed to cry in timeout because she knew why she was there (insert look of death there too).  After three minutes, I walked back into the room and asked her calmly why she threw her tantrum.  She told me she wanted to stay up.  I said. “When you’re older.  Now it’s time for bed.”  She went to bed.  I haven’t had to do timeout for her since then.

Children need boundaries.  Children also need discipline.  Why would we let them have a tantrum at an early age and not expect them to do it again, later in life?  By letting them control the situation (when we ignore them, taunt them, or react to them), we’re showing them that they control the show.  Down the road, this will lead to more back-talk and acting up.  When faced with a tantrum for the first time, we should react with the power of a lightning strike:  Hot, furious, and quick.  We don’t need to be physical, just show them that we’re the ones in control of the situations and whatever we say is law.  Some things are just not open for discussion.

I wrote this post about hitting your children, so don’t think I am advocating any violence, but as a parent you should know that there is no excuse for emotional outbursts from a child.  Some may say it’s expression, but a child CAN be taught to express themselves through words and rational behavior too.  If we want our children to eventually be well behaved adults, we need to show them the steps to get there.