I’d trade armor for sleep.

Have you been so stressed that you can’t sleep at night?  You lay there in bed, tossing and turning..unable to complete that journey into sleep.  It’s almost maddening as you lay there, unable to clear your head enough to drift off for a good night’s rest.  I am dealing with that right now.  It’s not one particular thing though, it’s a bunch.  Repairs were more costly on the house and I need to find a part time job (and I’m having NO luck), more repairs are needed, Olivia was promised a trip to the Dells this summer, and there is a pile of other issues I can’t even deal with yet.

I don’t freak out when I’m stressed.  I’ve been through worse and I do what I always do..what I see my parents do..just keep going.  Most of the people in my family are good at dealing with stress.  We have our freak out moments (some more than others), but we usually find a way to deal with things.  For me, it’s to just not stop going, which sucks when it’s time for bed.  It’s then that my stresses seem like a zombie movie.  I’m trapped there in the bedroom of the house and I’ve emptied a box of shells at the zombies (stress), but they just keep coming, pushing against the walls.  It’s draining.

No matter how much sleep I’ve had, I get up every morning, make the lunches for everyone, get ready and go to work.  I come home, clean, do laundry, cook supper for everyone, and try to work out or relax.  I am a powerhouse when it comes to getting things done.  It isn’t because I WANT to get things done, it just needs to get done…which also helps alleviate the stress for a bit.  All in all, I can take the punishment for now, but I just keep hoping something comes through.

I have thick, armor-like willpower, and I know this too, like all stressful moments, will pass.  However, I’d gladly trade my armor for a good night’s sleep.