Pretty fly for a gay guy.

Aberdeen, South Dakota
Aberdeen, South Dakota..where I grew up. Small town.. I'd probably know the driver of that SUV.

Tim wrote:

I am a homosexual male living in the lower midwest and I am wondering if you have any tips for good places to find dates.  I don’t do the club scene (too many queens), I don’t like bars (I don’t drink), and the online scene seems to have the same old people always on there.  I would like to think I have options, but it seems as though my town may be affecting the size of the dating pool.  Any pointers?



I can’t really tell you where to meet guys, so I’ll tell you where I’d meet women, ok?  Assuming I was in a hetero version of your life and all of those criteria above were a given, I’d look elsewhere.  Maybe there is potential at the grocery store, the library, or the gym?  What about concerts or other events?  What about a cute server that brings you your steak on lunch?  If all else fails, you’ll have to search outside of your area.  Living in a small town (I am assuming it is here) can really limit your choices if you’re straight, so I can’t imagine how drastic of a limitation it would be as a homosexual.

Just be yourself and keep an open mind (but clear ideals) about what you are looking for.  Don’t be douchy when striking up conversation, and just seek to get to know people..the rest will come in time.



Red sky in morning, sailors take warning..

A Ship Wrecked in a Storm off a Rocky Coast
Image via Wikipedia

The title of this post refers to a sailing creed.  “Red sky in morning, sailors take warning, red sky at night, sailors delight,” is how it reads.  It means if you (other than in the tropics) see a red sky in the morning, you’ll be heading into a storm, but if it’s red skies at night, it’s already passed.

Signs in our lives are the same.  We often see those red skies in our relationships and choose to take no warning.  We go on, full sail, and are often blindsided by the storm.  We are tossed and turned by the waves of sadness and frustration until we find ourselves washed up on the shore of singledom again.  From there, we take stock of what we’ve got and start building a new boat.  What we fail to realize is that we SHOULD have prepared for the storm.  There were signs, we saw it coming, and there really was no surprise…we just chose not to react.

The reasons we choose not to react are varied.  For some, it’s part of a passive/aggressive approach to life, for others it’s the hope that things will just work out, for others it’s stubbornness, and others see the oncoming storm as something out of their control.  Whatever the reason, the final choice to react or not to react is up to us.  Failure, in this instance, doesn’t go beyond anyone but yourself.

The next time you see the red skies approaching, prepare yourself.  You just may weather the storm with your ship intact.